Thursday, August 18, 2005

Too much of a good thing

I never thought the saying "Be careful what you wish for because you just might get it" would apply to me. I mean, it never comes true when I wish for unlimited shopping sprees or when I wish I could be on Oprah's Favorite Things episode or when I wish the earth would open up and swallow whichever person has earned my wrath for the day.

So recently (since I became a mom that is), what I've been wishing for are time-outs. For myself that is. Ever since I started giving time outs to Joshua for bad behavior or for just being plain uncontrollably hyperactive, I wished I could give my own self a time out more frequently. Regrettably, someone listened and decided the time has come to grant my frequent wish by gifting me with the mother of all time outs.

Yes sir, I am on time out now -- for the next two weeks. And I am perfectly miserable. I'm in Malaysia right now and will be here till the end of August. Two whole weeks of not seeing my family -- no kissing Faith's stubby toes, no kissing Joshua's smelly feet and no kissing Jun's .... ehem, I mean no hugging Jun pala. (almost got carried away there)

But let's weigh the positives of being on time-out: no waking up at the crack of dawn to give Faith her bottle; no driving to Cavite; having all the time in the world (after work that is) to take a leisurely bath/read books/watch dvds i brought with me/watch hbo; eating my food while it's still warm; browsing thru shops without worrying about the time; sleeping without the feeling of Joshua's feet burrowing under my back or side; or, sleeping without getting hit or kicked by Joshua in the midst of his frequent dreams. Hmmm... quite a lot of positives when you think about it.

Ok, moving on the negatives, or, to put it more creatively, if I'm supposed to having a good time, why am I so miserable?? For one thing, I miss the warm weight of Faith's head snuggling into the crook of my neck; I miss Joshua crawling into my lap asking for his stories; I miss Joshua's delighted laughter when his grandpa tells him the story of the T-rex in the noodlehouse; I miss the way Faith says "hewwo??" every time she hears a phone ring; and I miss not being with Jun.

The long and short of it is, I think too much of a good thing is bad for you. While I crave for time alone in the midst of the daily chaos (or smoothness - depending on how much coffee I've had) of my life, short doses does it for me. To put it colloquially, simple lang naman ang gusto ko (I want to go home!!!! Sob!). The wishes I expressed in the beginning of this blog are out of this world -- little to no chance of that happening anytime in the future.

But come to think of it, why should I complain? I might not have gotten what I used to wish for (except for this stupid time-out), but I did get what I prayed for. A loving husband who makes me laugh and who thinks I'm beautiful (really, am not kidding, you can ask him), two wonderful (and beautiful! sorry, just had to put that in) children, a relatively comfortable life, a good job, a supportive family, even a movie date every now and then. And there lies all the difference.

No comments: