Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Breast Milk Envy

Yes, I've got it. I'd stare in envy at the milk coming out of mothers pumping it out in the breastfeeding room at the hospital. The lot of them filling up 6-8 oz at a time, some of them the color of ripe mango shakes. Talk about colostrum overload. While I struggle to produce 1 measly oz of milk for my baby.

Sigh. I obviously have issues. I've tried everything to increase my production -- natalac tablets,drinking more than 3 liters of water everyday, trying to eat right. Heck, I'm even taking anti vomiting tablets because the pediatrician told me one of the side effects is increased lactation. Lucia's just not getting enough judging by her grunts of frustration when she's been at my breast for some time. I can tell. And I feel so guilty for not being to provide enough for her.

So despite my best intentions of pure breastfeeding for Lucia, I've caved in to giving formula. I don't think it's evil like a lot of pediatricians do (thank goodness mine doesn't). I just believe in the good effects of breastmilk. I still put Lucia to my breast first before giving her breastmilk. It makes me feel a lot better plus it keeps my meager supply running, so to speak.

I resign myself to the fact that I will never be able to pump like those mothers do. I'm just glad that Lucia continues to thrive and gain weight. Now excuse me while I go take my Plasil tablets.

6 comments:

Stace said...

Such a shame you're having problems breastfeeding :( But don't feel guilty about going to formula; it's not your fault! The formula these days is pretty good, I hear :) Take care, good luck!

Pacha said...

I hated pumping...couldn't do it.Very frustrating experience - long, painful, arduous and all for a trickle of milk (a nurse I gave milk to for Emma when she was in intensive care would sniff in disgust, hold up the bottle while scunching up her eyes in order to see better and say, "There isn't even any milk in here" B*tch!). I refused to pump for D. It just made me miserable (apart from being such a futile task). The important thing about breastfeeding according to me is about you enjoying it and the baby coming away satisfied...if that isn't happening you make intelligent decisions like you did and give her formula! (while keeping that meager supply running of course;-))

Keshi said...

good luck with it all Menchie!

btw come n check out my bday cake...ur gonna love it :)

Keshi.

Menchie said...

Stace,

thanks, and yes my two children were raised on formula too and they turned out ok. I just wanted to breastfeed exclusively but I guess it's not to be.

Pacha,
i feel better knowing it's not only me. I also experienced those pitying looks from nurses whenever I pumped in the hospital. pathetic really. and you're right about breastfeeding -- if the baby's not satisfied, what's the point?

keshi,
your bday cake is gorgeous and l;ooks yummy too! I want one for my 40th bday -- in two years time! :D

Big Pumpkin said...

I had exactly the same problems. Even the best lactation specialist in the country prescribed pills for me and it hardly worked. It just wasn't meant to be but hey, as much as everyone says breastfeeding is best for baby, I think it's over-rated. Because out of 10 breastfed babies I know, Tee is stronger than them, ie she has a much stronger immune system comparatively. If they get sick 5 times a year, she only gets sick once or not at all. Go figure!

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