Wednesday, February 21, 2007

The Yummy Mummy

Technically, a Yummy Mummy by definition is a woman who fits into her size 6 Seven jeans three weeks after giving birth (by scheduled C-Section of course -- no messy labors please!). She's a fashionista mama who shops for groceries in heels, closing deals on her cell phone while wagging finger puppets to stimulate her baby's growing brain.

I came across a book with this title about a month ago and then again this weekend. I wanted to buy it but I've already binged on books so I had to pass. I thought it was a cute title. Then I read on the net that actress Kate Winslet was just declared Yummiest Mummy of the year in the UK. So it's more than just a random idea on a book title. The term has actually gained legitimacy -- much like the terms "baby boomers" or "general Xers". I have to laugh at the thought of being in skinny jeans after three weeks. I vividly remember being a bloated mess of hormones three years ago, panicking over being left with a jealous Joshua, who had the bad habit of wanting to hit his sister as I breastfed her.

Seriously, I don't know how these women do it. And I don't mean the actresses and models whose livelihood depends on how they look. I don't own a single pair of Seven jeans (and never will -- the price tag is enough to buy diapers for more than a year). My feet have grown two sizes since the kids were born. I don't think I will ever go back to my pre-pregnancy weight no matter how long I lay off the carbs (or kill myself on the treadmill). My tummy will never be the same. It's not always sweetness and light, designer baby gear and pilates classes.

It's difficult for me to balance work, time for the kids and the hubby, and time for myself. It's a tough world and sometimes I feel like I've got one foot in the corporate world and the other one in mom world, never really fitting in either. I feel lost amidst the stay at home moms who see each other every day at my son's pre-school. They are all nice and friendly but I am a stranger to them. I get distracted at work when the kids are sick, eaten with guilt that they are being cared for by someone else. I feel responsible for so many things and the thought of having to live up to a glamorized image of motherhood just doesn't appeal.

But I guess, in the end, you just do what works for you. Hats off to the yummy mummies out there -- as long as the kids are clean and happy and I'm relatively presentable then that'll have to do.

19 comments:

Ces said...

I hope you are not trying to be a Yummy Mummy. Most of them end up as the other party in a divorce proceeding. I was a Yummy Mummy if one just takes the definition of size 6 after birth though mine was a non-surgical delivery so even more miraculous that I went back to a size 6 two months after delivery. HOWEVER, today I am a Yummy Tummy - it happens with real women. I just want to be healthy, happy and deal with the reality of raising teenagers directly, not through surrogates like nannies and boarding schools. I'd settle for real life with friends like mine and the hope that someday I will meet you.

Menchie said...

Ces,
You made me laugh with your Yummy Tummy. My children think I am beautiful and they love my tummy (Faith sleeps on it most nights) so i guess that makes me a yummy tummy too!

I guess there is a negative connotation to the term (even the book alluded to it). Some take it to the extreme though.

Caroline said...

Hear hear!
You have voiced what so many of us think. Working women struggle to find a balance and I think that the key is not to overcompensate. It is so hard being a working woman, then a mum, then a wife and then a me. Some days I smile as I think that I've found the right balance, whilst other days I sit crying in a corner.

Just be true to yourself and your kids will love you for it. Well that's my plan/theory.

xxx

Menchie said...

Caroline,
You are so right. Some days I feel like I've got everything handled and then there are times when I feel like I'm letting my kids down by not being with them. Then there's the stress of not having enough "me" time.

I think we are actually our worst critics and should put a stop to that.

Caroline said...

I agree.
Just had an amazon delivery - 'rise and fall of yummy mummy is in there!' I'd forgotten that I'd ordered it!
Four new books. Delicious.
x

Ali said...

I whole-heartedly recommend The Yummy Mummy! The main character goes through the whole--what kind of Mommy do I want to be--Granola, Yummy, regular...it's nice to watch her transformation, especially as one who has been there herself!

Steven Novak said...

I prefer my mummys like I enjoy my hamburgers...a little greasy.

(I have no idea what that is supposed to mean...but I think it might mean something) ;)

Steve~

Aidan said...

With all due respect to yourself and my wife. However from the photo i think you fit the catergory of yummy mummy.... except no bandages. and your not chasing abbet and costello.....

Be happy the way you are, regardless of weight height.

You should feel guilty you seem like a great mum, with a great relationship with your kids...

It is hard to find the balance between home and work life, just do the best you can. There is no instruction manual for kids, or raising a family, everyone is working on best guess..... Dont be too hard on your self

Aidan

Keshi said...

that song by Pink is one of my favs.

babez u look GOOD to me just the way u r. Those women who cud easily get into a size 6 jeans (btw is size 6 an adult woman's size??) waste too much time at the gym and starve themselves alot to be that way...and that means they make their kids/families starve for some loving and quality time.

U r doing GREAT!
Keshi.

Menchie said...

Caroline,
Ok, that's it. I am going back to the bookstore and get the book.

Ali,
Hi! I know! I wanted to buy the book but I'd already spent so much on the 13 that I bought that I had to pass. I had browsed a couple of pages (and the ending -- weird quirk of mine) and I wanted to buy it. Now I guess I will have to go back for it.

Steve,
"Greasy"????? Ok, you have to tell me when you figure it out.

Aidan,
Well, thanks! Oh I love being a mom more than being another drone in the corporate world. My kids are so great so maybe I am not messing up too much. :D

Menchie said...

Keshi sweetie! Can you believe I just heard that song recently? And I liked it so much I am trying to find it so I can load it in my ipod.

And thanks, you are so sweet. And since i regard the gym as an evil place of torture i won't disagree with you. :D

Stace said...

I think that just being a "mummy" should be enough for anybody. I'm really looking forward to motherhood, although it's years away for me! The "yummy" part shouldn't matter. Being healthy and happy goes without saying, but without trying to be sexy. Menchi, your kids sounds wonderful! I hope I go as well at being a mother as you obviously do! :)

Menchie said...

Stace,
I'm sure a lot of people will tell you that motherhood is great and they are right. But you'll find out when you cross that bridge. thanks for being so sweet. And I know on a subliminal level that I am not messing up. But, a huge part of motherhood (or parenthood) is guilt so I guess I am being normal. :D

kj said...

ok, i am a yummy tummy also. sometimes i am also a yummy crummy and once for reasons i will not mention i was a yummy dummy. i am never a yummy numby.

so there.

Menchie said...

kj,
well, that was a yummy mouthful. Oh, for the story behind "yummy dummy"!

Homo Escapeons said...

How do you think us Flabby Daddys feel?
We have competition too you know!

I drive the 'other' Stay at Home Dad crazy in the morning when we are escorting our kids to school..
by having my eyebrows plucked, nose hair trimmed, and wearing a Tuxedo, to disguise my mature figure.

I also make a point of removing my white gloves and Top Hat to expose my perfectly coiffed hair and freshly manicured nails.
So what if he is only half my age..this is WAR..nyeh!!

Menchie said...

HE,
Flabby Daddys? You??!!! I must be hallucinating. I could've sworn I just saw a picture of you almost naked with Zeus and Thor on stage. You are being too modest.

Heck, with your "other" job you put those other daddies to shame. :D

-Princess Shin- said...

Your feet actually grows after you gave birth? Oh dear.. i didn't know that. My feet is size 6 now.

Oh dear...

Menchie said...

Princess,
Ha ha! I was 6 and a half to 7 (depending on the shoe) before I got married. And now I'm a size 9. *sob* I had to say goodbye to my shoes.