Friday, February 02, 2007

That Guy Thing

A discussion cropped up on the way home when the hubby's work colleague
hitched a ride. Sometime during the 2 hour traffic, the conversation narrowed down to this question: how come men can never admit that another guy is good looking? What's up with that??!!

Come on. I've proven this with the hubby. Whenever I ask him if a certain
guy is good looking I'll typically get this response, "I don't know. Don't
ask me that." The hubby's colleague adds that unless the guy involved is an
actor like Brad Pitt, I will usually get a noncommittal response.

Now, I don't have a problem acknowledging whether another woman is good
looking. In fact, one time, I gawked at a woman standing in a corner who
had the most amazing pair of legs I've ever seen. I'm like, "OMG! Did you see her legs???!!!" I couldn't resist a last look at her when we passed by in the car, craning my neck to get a last glimpse that the hubby had to tap me on the shoulder to get my attention.

I once asked a guy friend about whether he thought a guy who just walked in front of us was cute and I all I got was a "Huh??!!".

So, is it a guy thing?

There's got to be more than an "it's just the way it is".


Caroline said...

Some men think that if they say another guy is attractive, then everyone will think them gay. Shock horror! Women are sooooo much cooler than men ;-)

Menchie said...

That is so true. They think women have a lot of hang-ups (which is partly true) but they've got their share too!

It's Friday night! Yippee! SO glad it's the weekend!

Steven Novak said...

I can admit when another guy is goodlooking...

Kind of.

If I say, "I really hate that son of a bitch."

It either means he's attarctive, or rich...and I am jealous. ;)


Ms. Val said...

I agree with Caroline. It's a double standard, of sorts. A double standard that favors women.

Women can do all sorts of things that would seem strange if a man did them. For example, women can compliment each other on their shoes, hairstyle, etc. without it looking wierd. Men can't really do that.

Also, a woman can take her male child into a public ladies' room, and nobody would bat an eyelash. A man can't really do that with his daughter without it looking strange.


Menchie said...

Well at least you admit something. Though that is a tad extreme!

Ms. Val,
You have a point. But in my opinion, men don't have to gush. A simple admission that another guy is good looking would suffice. It's kind of hard for me to accept that they have no opinion whatsoever with regards to how other men look.

Maria said...

you're probably not asking the right men, Mench! LOL!

Here's a list of men you shouldn't go to with this q:
1. Jun
2. Boom
3. The Blogworld Rd Hubbies'

I'll email you the list on the men who would gladly give you an answer - LOL!

Marie said...

It's just the way it is, Menchie. Saying that someone is attractive doesn't mean you fancy them, but I suppose some men are afraid that if they say another guy is good-looking people will think them gay.

mutleythedog said...

I like good looking men, and I will give you a list of them if you like, - reading the responses I guess you were wrong in your original post. Mr Steve Novak is very sexy for example, and Im not very gay, just a bit. Well completely.

Menchie said...

Sige nga, give me a list just to prove that I'm wrong. That better not include our good friends because they don't count!

That's exactly my point! I find it so weird that they would think like that. I was just telling my hubby that if I heard him gushing over some male then I would find it really weird but not having an opinion on whether some other guy is good looking is just know...weird.

Hey! Thanks for dropping by! Will your list include Daniel Craig? Because if it does, then I like you already!
So you think Steve is sexy? Wait till you check out his blog!

Harlot said...

Menchie, this is soooo true. I think when God bestowed His gifts, he forgot to give men that certain... sense (not saying men are stupid) that makes us women His masterpiece. *g* Fine, i'd like to think we're smarter. :P C'mon, men would rather get lost than ask for directions, suffer pain than admit they're beaten by a girl, not to mention some disgusting honchos develop icky habits like scratching their balls in public. Honestly...

My demanding ex who likes it that i have a huge crush on Angelina Jolie (well she's out-of-this-world sexy and just simply stunning) would NEVER say George Clooney IS sexy, "though he looks great in his age." *rolls eyes*

Ok, am falling asleep have to go back to sleep LOL.

Menchie said...

At least your ex admitted Clooney looks great for his age. I'd just get a "probably" from my husband.

I'm going with what Caroline said. It's much cooler to be a woman!

Now go back to dreaming about Edward. Or pool guy!

Ces said...

Men are such homophobes, but really, would you go out with a man who looks at other men and tells you while you are on a date: "Hey doll, did you see that man's pectorals?" or "That man has a nice butt." or "I really think Oscar over there has the most beautiful blue eyes and I like how he bats his eyelashes." I would be very suspicious. Men tend to focus on other matters such as another man's car, another man's girl, another man's job, another man's success, but never another man's body or body parts, unless he is a homosexual. And quite frankly, I am fine with this arrangement.

And another thing, there is nothing worse for a heterosexual man than to be mistaken for a homosexual. That merits an all out knock out drag out fistfight.

Menchie said...

OMG! No way will I go out with a guy who admires another one's pecs. LOL! Or ogles a guy's butt. I have my gay friends for that.

If they really can't tell if a guy's good looking, then how come they can admit if another guy isn't?

Keshi said...

I agree...MOST men dun like to admit another guy is good-looking. This happened with my ex too. He never, I mean NEVER admitted to anothet guy looking better than him LOL!

It is indeed a guy thing :)


Menchie said...

too true. :D

Within Without said...


This is easily explainable, really (I think!)

Men (and women) might not want to admit it, but we have some basic instincts that we still struggle with today.

Men's primal instincts are to fight for what they want and if they get it, to protect what's theirs, if you know what I mean.

I'm just talking about primal instincts, now...I'm not talking about that's the way I think it should be now.

We evolved that way because that's what we had to do to get food, to get women, to procreate.

Fast-forward to today. And remember, we're talking about those primal instincts still being there, basically, in 2007.

As a man, first of all how am I going to feel about you even looking at a man and trying to make a judgment about whether that's attractive or not?

It may be harmless, but it's still a red flag, some kind of threat to me keeping you. It's a natural reaction -- a reaction that's wrong in the context in 2007 of how you describe it, but still natural.

How would you feel if you saw your hubby gawking at some woman and he said to you, "Look at her (insert body part here)." Wouldn't you feel a bit threatened?

And I think the point others have made about homophobia is a part of it too.

And, really...I don't look at other men in those terms about whether they're good-looking or bad-looking or otherwise.

Why would I?

It's kind of like asking my 15-year-old son what he thinks of that 45-year-old woman over there that I find's just not in his sphere of thought.

He's just not looking there...