On the way to the farm

I had every intention of having a good time at my son's field trip , I really did!

Went on leave from work to go with my son to this field trip. There's always a trip every month and I've been sort of relegating this to my mom since I started my new job. Instead of meeting up with the others in school, I'd planned on going straight to the farm. Joshua and I left at around 8am which was right on schedule and I was just congratulating myself at getting out of the house on time when I checked my phone and found an SMS from the teacher. Could one of his classmates and his nanny hitch a ride with us. Sure, I said, I just had to make a gas stop and buy bottled water and juice at the convenience store. No problem, she says, hardly anyone's there yet, they're running late.

Loooong line at the gas station then major quick trip in and out of the store for the water and juice and we were on our way again. Teacher calls again to say they were all loading and were on their way. Luigi and nanny went with someone else. Ok, cool. It was just Josh and me, happily chatting on the highway when he had to go to the restroom. I had visions of all the parents and their kids impatiently waiting for the farm tour to start, fuming at the dumb mom who was late. Hating myself for even thinking about it, I stopped at the next gas station.

Five minutes later, we were stuck in traffic. After twenty minutes, we finally reached the farm. Hokay, no big deal, other parents are still arriving. I realized I was stressing myself out for no reason at all and decided to relax, chat with the other moms (who were really nice!) and take pictures. Mr. Horsie was the first one we met. He kept immersing his head in the tub of water and splashing everyone. The kids were enchanted.

Then came the cart ride at the back of the cow. You can see they were all smiles, heck, I wanted to ride in the cart. It looked fun. There was a curious cow who kept poking it's nose at us, begging for her picture to be taken. It was at this point (10 minutes before 10am) that I checked my phone. Big mistake. I had two missed calls and one SMS telling me to call the big boss (the boss of my boss). I called and he needed a file which, because of my sheer rotten luck, only I had access to. He needed it for a meeting with the owner at 10 am. I wanted to wade into the duck pond and kill myself. Except there were ducks in it. And some geese. "You don't have your laptop with you, right?" Uh, no. Then silence on the other end. The kids were leaving the horse paddock and walking toward a small building. I was sweating already both from the heat and the tension. Then I remembered my brother was still home. So I told my boss I'd have the file sent to him right away.

I never saw the inside of the building. I think there were rabbits...or chickens. I was on two phones, one calling my mom and the other one with my brother. I saw a turkey and a goose waddle over to the path I was standing on and I got the hell out of there before I started shrieking and giving the farm hands some entertainment. I owe my brother one for sending the file (and going thru all my excel spreadsheets, trying to find the right one to send) but I also missed a large part of the tour. Joshua was too excited about everything he was seeing but I somehow felt I let him down. *sniff*

The rest of the tour went ok. The kids went fishing, Joshua didn't catch anything (I was still on the phone with my brother). I was able to sneak in this picture but this is pretty much it (Joshua's the one standing in the blue cap). We had a picnic in the tree house where we had spaghetti, hotdogs, chocolate chip cookies, brownies and pound cake. Josh drank too much grape juice and threw up in a corner of the tree house. There was egg hunting and some photo ops on the back of a farm truck and a rope web thingie the kids all all wanted to climb.

Joshua wrote his name and got a goose feather which I gleefully told him to give to my younger sister as a surprise. She freaks out at feathers even when they're not attached to an animal. Joshua once chased her around the house with a feather duster. I wonder if she'll be home tonight. Tee-hee!

My NEVER List

First off, I'm so glad to be back home. I didn't get a wink of sleep last night when I was away. Was so happy that I've got this meme to do (thanks a lot Caroline! You just made my evening!). :D

Top Ten Things I will NEVER do.

I will NEVER

1. ...touch an animal (alive or dead) that has feathers. I'd rather be shot. (I am so deathly scared of feathers!)

2. ...eat liver and ampalaya (bittermelon) willingly. You will have to shove it down my throat, or kill me. (my mom used to force us to eat this. if we were having it with fish, my sister and i would stuff the vegetable inside the fish's mouth)

3. ...put my kids down or compare them unfavorably with others. (it's just not fair)

4. ...stop loving my husband. or get a divorce. (this one's for keeps)

5. ...stop reading. (i might as well stop breathing)

6. ...wear pantyhose or stockings with open toed sandals. (just a personal fashion preference)

7. ...like getting shots.

8. ...paint my nails red. (it's just not me)

9. ...shave off my hair. (i am much too vain for this)

10. ... say never to chocolate.

Ramblings

What a stressful day. The work I had to do took longer than I expected and I ended up still doing it while the kids were taking their nap. Am going out of town for the next two days and I still have to pack, buy stuff I need for the trip, get the kids ready for mass, wrap a gift, and my nails are a mess.

So here I am with gunk on my face and instead of fixing last minute things, I am writing. And visiting my bloggerfriends. Can you tell I am giving myself a time out? The kids are all around me, alternately yelling at each other, watching a Disney movie, making a mess, and trying to punch letters on my laptop. What can I say? They're very energetic. Weird, but it's like I'm in a bubble. I notice them at the edge of my consciousness, but I am still calmly writing.

Forgive me if I'm rambling. I just need to do this now. I am worried about tomorrow. I know I will miss the kids and the hubby. I hate sleeping in strange places. I hate missing the kids' big school evaluation tomorrow.

And now I remember the face gunk is only supposed to stay on for 1 minute. Darn it! Ok, deep breath. What's another minute when it's been on for the last 10, right?

(*Smile* I just asked my daughter Faith to kiss me and she didn't even hesitate despite the white gunk on my face. I just love her!)

Now she's putting (and removing) stickers on my shoulder and climbing up my back. That's my cue. I gotta go wash my face before it peels off.

10 minutes later...

Whew, I still have a face I can show in public. Note to self: follow directions on labels of cosmetic products.

And I am still rambling...

Kids are wrestling and trying to bury each other with pillows while screaming at the top of their lungs (I can tell they're getting on their dad's nerves :D). Think I'll go and join them and bury myself under the pillows. Or maybe scream a little. Yep, things are looking up.

Whoopee!

Oh wow. One whole Saturday free. Kids are with my parents out of town (again) and won't be back till tomorrow. I've got a bit of work to do but nothing that I won't finish in a couple of hours. A movie date with my husband and some time to leisurely go around the mall to scope out more possible Christmas gifts (I'm almost doooone!) and a nice dinner out. What more could I ask for?

I'm supposed to be working but I'm going crazy in bloggerworld, visiting my favorite bloggers and some new ones. I rarely get the chance to visit other blogs and read so this has been a real treat for me. So to the ones I've visited -- i'm saying hi again.

I've also gotten word from my fellow bookworm friend whom I haven't personally met yet (but I love her already!) that the 11 books she's found for me were finally delivered and I will be getting them on Friday! Heaven. I don't think I can wait that long. It's like Christmas already!

I'ts been a really lazy morning. Gotta get to work and finish. Only...I miss the kids. (I'm pathetic, I know)

Conversations with Poop (Revisited)

This was one of my earliest posts. I read it again while I was going through my archives and thought I'd post it.


The absurdity of what happens in the course of being a mom sometimes astounds me. Like last night's conversation with my three year old son, Joshua. He was on the potty with me holding him up and keeping him company.

Me: So, are you going to make poopoo now?

Josh: It's coming, mommy, it's coming.

Me: (after 2 minutes) is it coming out already?

Josh: talk to my poopoo mommy so it'll come out.

Me: (to the poop) Hey poopoo, come out now before I give you time out!

Josh: (as the poop) Yes, mommy. Do not give me time out.

Me: So, is it coming?

Josh: It's eating chocolate. (he ate 1 piece of chocolate after dinner)

Me: Oh, ok. (after 2 minutes) is it coming out na? (I was getting a little tired of hanging out in the bathroom by now)

Josh: yes, it's brushing it's teeth.

Believe me, this was an actual conversation. And quite a lengthy one, mind you. I didn't include the references to hatching and other whatnot. And let's not even talk about the time I actually SANG to the poop. (to the tune of twinkle, twinkle little star)

That is what I go home to every single day. Different levels of absurdity but who cares? It's one of the perks of being a parent. Free comedy entertainment to chase the stress away. Now, if I'm feeling generous and only if you've been a good boy/girl, I just might invite you one of these days to come over and have a conversation with the naughty B_og_r.

Boxing anyone?

Violent sports have never been my interest at all. As opposed to Jun who adores watching boxing and the for real type of wrestling which never fails to amuse me every time I catch a glimpse of it on TV. He loses his concentration once I start making brokeback mountain like jokes ( hello! almost naked men all tangled up on the screen -- how can you pass up something like that??!!!!). My only request is for him not to watch those things where the children can see them. I don't think I can survive it if Joshua starts to seriously wrestle -- he's too rambunctious already as it is.

But yesterday, that's another story. I don't think I ever enjoyed a boxing match as much as Manny Pacquiao's fight against Morales. It was inspired...much better than the Rocky movies (do you know there's gonna be a fifth installment??!! Duh!). I never thought I'd say this but the fight yesterday left me disappointed that it ended at Round 3. I was just really getting into it (actually screaming my head off) when it was over.

I also never realized how good looking Morales is -- in an earthy, boxer type of way. (ha ha!) Can't wait for the next boxing match. I think I've been converted.

Here it is!

Ok Ces, you dared me. So here it is. Told you I could do it. Freakish huh?

Friday 13

There are pictures and there are pictures. For this installment of Friday 13, I chose photos that are close to our hearts. Not because they're perfect. These aren't even the kinds of pictures you keep in an album to show your guests. But I love them anyway -- they are snapshots of our occasional (or everyday?) insanity.

1. Joshua was a little over a month old here and when Jun took this, we couldn't stop laughing at how scary he looked. We were trying to get a photo of him to send to our friends through email. Needless to say, we decided to wait a couple more weeks before taking another photo.

2. I loved the look on Joshua's face here. I think my sister (whom he adores) came out of the house just when the photo was snapped. (I also think he kinda looks like a girl here)

3. Jun took this photo while Josh was in the middle of doing number 2.

4. Likewise, this is Faith, also doing the number 2. (and looking like a boy)

5. Taken during my birthday last year and Joshua made a face.

6. So of course, it was my turn.

7. We couldn't get a decent smile out of Joshua that night. This was one of the mildest faces he made.

8. Um, I just thought it would be fun to make faces in front of the mirror while I was distracting Joshua from flicking toothpaste in the mirror. I had to help Josh a little bit with this one.

9. I really don't remember this one. It's part of a series. I could tell Jun was having fun here.

10. Fooling around in the hospital while Faith was confined with Kawasaki disease. It was like a mini party every night when my parents visited with my siblings and Joshua. We never had to settle for just hospital food.

11. Taken only last weekend. Faith was fooling around as usual. I did not, repeat, DID NOT, teach her to do this. She's perfectly capable (and frighteningly proficient) at coming up with her own faces. Jun is constantly amazed.

12. This is how we are at night before bed. The kids just don't leave me alone. That's me (taking my turn at scrabble) with Joshua squishing me while watching cartoons. Faith's actually lying on top of me. Jun just had to take a picture.

13. Finally, I realized almost all of the pictures are of me and the kids so I thought of including one of Jun. This is NOT because he is the only normal one in the family.

Living in constant fear

Last Saturday, as I was preparing Joshua's stuff for an overnight trip with my parents and sisters, it hit me again. That paralyzing fear I feel every time one or both of my children go places without either me or their dad. It's completely irrational and ridiculous, I know but I can't help it. It's the constant fear of losing them. I torture myself with thousands of scenarios running through my mind. And all the while, I stroke and kiss and hug Joshua, constantly telling him I love him and I'll miss him, even if he'll only be gone for a day. Maybe he senses my anxiety, for he looks at me strangely, then takes my face between his hands and tells me he's going to be allright. And I'm still thinking, what if I never see him again? How can I bear it?

Then I do what I always do everytime this happens. I ask Jun, "He's going to be ok, right?". And his response is always the same. "Yes, he will." I keep quiet then and bring Joshua to the car where everyone was waiting. I kiss and hug him goodbye and then I pray. I once asked Jun in a fit of depression and anger after Joshua's birth because Josh wasn't well and couldn't go home for a month, "Why are you ok? How come you're not as sad as me?" His answer was so simple yet it struck me speechless, and, I admit, with a little bit of shame. He said, "Because you have to believe that your prayers will be answered." And so in times like these, I ask him for reassurance but all the same, I don't think I completely breathe until I see Joshua again the next day. My Dad said the first thing Joshua says when he wakes up the next morning was, ''Grandpa, can we go home now? I miss my mommy."

It's a terrible way to live, I know but I have a feeling it will always be this way for me no matter how grown up they become. I mentioned in a previous post that having children means having your heart walking around out of your body. And while it means living with constant fear and worry, it also means experiencing the greatest joy. And I wouldn't exchange it for anything in the world.

This Guy's in love with you

I'm obsessed with this song. It's by Burt Bacharach and it's an old song I recently discovered in one of those Starbucks compilations revived by a group called Fastball. I've been playing it over and over for two weeks now. It made my heart catch when I heard the lyrics and of course I immediately thought of the love of my life (um, yes Jun, that would be you). It goes like this:

You see this guy
This guy's in love with you
Yes, I'm in love
Who looks at you the way I do
When you smile
I can tell
We know each other very well
How can I show you?
I'm glad I got to know you cause

I heard some talk
They say you think I'm fine
Yes I'm in love
And what I'd do to make you mine
Tell me now, is it so?
Don't let me be the last to know
My hands are shaking
Don't let my heart keep breaking cause

I need your love
I want your love
Say you're in love
In love, with this guy

If not I'll just die

Jun is currently learning it on the guitar so he can sing it to me. Ain't that sweet?

5 things -- People Collection List

My friend Maria tagged me for this meme. Took me some time to think about what to write (that I haven't shared before) but I thoroughly enjoyed the process.

1. I am a fix-it person. I enjoy assembling toys and furniture. The more nuts and bolts there are, the more I like them. I've assembled cribs, toys (love those Ikea ones that have lots of parts!), and once Jun and I raced to assemble two bedside tables for our apartment. He finished first but the back part was inverted, HA!

2. I am an introvert. People call me a liar to my face when I say this but it is true. While I can be animated and talkative around people, it usually drains my energy. When I was younger, I used to bring a book during family parties and would be perfectly happy just sitting in a corner. I thought it was shyness at first but the word didn't exactly fit. It was only during a work session facilitated by my friend Lara that I finally realized what it was.

3. I love to read. I would go crazy without anything to read. I learned how really read when I got curious about the Tagalog comic books that our maids used to read and leave around the house. There was no stopping me after that. I own over 2,000 books -- don't know the exact number since I stopped making catalogs after reaching 1,000. That's Josh in the picture, by the way.

4. I can bend all my fingers backwards and make them touch the back of my hand. This totally freaks (and grosses!) people out. For obvious reasons, I have refrained from posting a picture of this. Just take my word for it.

5. I like writing by hand. Anything that involves or needs writing -- making lists, filling out forms, signing documents -- I'm your man. Completely baffles my husband. He bought me a palm pilot which I seldom used except to play games with.

Who's counting?

My husband and I recently celebrated our sixth wedding anniversary. Hard to believe it's been six years. Sometimes it seems like it was just yesterday when Jun lost his wedding ring during our honeymoon. But more often than not, it feels like we've been together forever that it's hard to imagine my life before I met him. Hmmm...now that I think about it, my life before Jun consisted of reading in bed during weekends and Friday nights, cursing the fact that I did not have a boyfriend. Yeah, call it pathetic if you must but I dare any single girl (or guy) out there to deny that the single life is mostly spent on the pursuit of (or the search for) THE ONE. I'll be honest and admit I wasn't one of those independent single girls who are totally ok about being single.

I've had my share of dates from hell, lousy pick-up lines and met enough date 'em and leave 'em types to last me a lifetime. It was at the end of a dating frenzy that I finally decided to put a stop to the madness. I was tired of the never ending cycle of dating a guy, the getting to know you better phone calls, and the effort to be interested in what they were saying. And it was in the middle of the self imposed exile from the dating scene that I found him...or did he find me?? (Actually, our friends set us up -- such good friends I have! -- thank you! mwah!).

If I had a glimpse of how much fun married life was going to be, I would have gotten married when I was 16 (and given my parents a heart attack!). Seriously, I had my own pre-conceived notions of what being married was like (all in the romance department, of course!) but what never figured into my girlish fantasies was the fun. And if someone were to ask me to describe what my life is like with Jun, I would have to say that we laugh a lot -- at ourselves, at each other, at the kids. We'd laugh till tears ran down our faces and then start all over again.

Sigh! I just have the best time when I'm with him.

Sleeping Arrangements

For the past one and a half years, the whole family’s been sleeping on the floor. It’s the only way I can sleep with a measure of soundness without the fear of hearing the sickening sound of a small body hitting the floor. Every night, we put together two mattresses so the four of us can fit. I told Jun he can continue to sleep on the bed but he insists on sleeping on with us.

We started doing this after Faith fell from the bed when she was around six months old. She’d been sleeping in a crib but after an exhausting night where she kept waking up, I finally transferred her to the bed at 6:30am, and wedged the crib right next to the bed as a precaution. Joshua was still asleep and Jun had moved to the couch when I got up. I had planned to stay awake but I dozed off so to make a long story short, Faith woke up, crawled all around the bed and I was slammed awake by a big thud. We were lucky there was no (lasting) harm done except for her crying bloody murder (thank goodness for wood floors!).

It’s actually more convenient since I never have to worry about anyone falling off if they wake up before I do (which is usually the case). However, they never seem to want to just walk over to where the toys are and play quietly until I wake up. Oh no, they just like to drive me crazy. When Joshua wakes up, he’ll either want to engage in conversation in a loud voice or tell me he needs to make poopoo (still in a loud voice). Faith used to poke me in the face (and shove her finger up my nose). Sometimes, they’d plop down on your tummy and take a horsey ride or, ask for milk at which point I either give up and get up or, tell them to ask their Daddy (teehee!).

Lately, Faith’s been keeping me awake again. For the past five days, she’s been waking up between 2-4 am, coughing up a storm. It’s the dry kind of cough, making me suspect an allergy. Poor dear, she’d keep shifting her position – trying to get back to sleep only to be beset by another round of coughing. She also tries to sleep with half her body draped over the couch only she keeps sliding back to the mattress (it’s actually funny to watch whenever she does this – I’m so rotten to find something funny in all this!). I know there’s nothing much I can do, except to rub her back and chest and pray for it to stop. Time to bother the pediatrician.

I figure this is what I get for sleeping till noon when I was single and BK (before kids). I warned Jun when we got married that he would have to fend for himself in the morning because there is no way I am getting up before 11am on a weekend. Good thing he used to just take oatmeal for breakfast.

So most days, I go around with half my brain fried from lack of sleep. Who knew a human being could still function – coming up with coherent things to say at work, running errands, driving – with less than four hours of sleep? Think about it.

In the meantime, I think I’m going to ….zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Friday 13

1. I have finally organized our closet! Of course, I’ve only done the folded clothes portion and managed a “mini-purge”. Not quite as ruthless as Ces was but at least there’s a bit more space until the next time I go shopping. Ha ha!

2. Fixed my shoe storage system – now I can find exactly what I want to wear without opening half a dozen shoe boxes in the morning and sneezing to death from all the dust.

3. I realized my feet have grown humongous after having two babies. I went from a size 7 to a size 9. The only thing good about this is that my size is always the one available in a shoe sale. So there!

4. Replenished my “To be read” book pile. It used to have 50 books which I’ve whittled down to around 20 and then it’s up to 40 again. Yay!

5. I’ve submitted all the requirements for my kids’ big school application. Now all I have to do is keep my fingers crossed and pray that they get accepted.

6. In light of the past typhoon which caused a lot of damage to the steel structures where advertising billboards are posted, the MMDA are taking it out. Traffic’s been horrendous the past few days, I’ll be glad when everything’s back to normal.

7. I won the most recent scrabble game with Jun. Our current game’s almost done – only 17 tiles left and I’m around 30 points behind. Help!

8. The kids’ trick or treat costumes this year have been settled. Joshua is a recycled Superman (thank goodness the costume still fits) and Faith is a fairy (c/o of my aunt who so thoughtfully sent over a fairy costume from the US),

9. I’ve also fixed the kids’ closets – only the toys and old clothes left to organize for donation on Christmas.

10. Apart from the Halloween costume, my aunt also sent Ghirardelli chocolates! I’m in heaven.

11. It feels strange to be in a new office with a lot of new faces. I’m slowly getting used to it but I miss my old officemates terribly.

12. My aunt also sent a black robe with a cowl for Joshua which is a bit too big for him. Last night my dad put it on along with a freaky shark hat and went outside to the terrace to scare the maids.

13. Only 75 days till Christmas!

Not my day

Jun and I met up with a friend of mine and her boyfriend for lunch at Rockwell last Saturday. I brought the kids with us – figured it’s been a while since we spent time at the mall just chilling. After lunch, browsed (and shopped!) at Zara where we said goodbye to my friend and we proceeded to the bookstore.

After paying for my books, I went straight to the Customer Service counter to borrow a pen and fill out some raffle coupons while Jun brought Joshua to the men’s room. Faith and I were heading out of the bookstore when I realized that I left my purchases at the cashier. Whew!

We passed by a display of Porsches and of course Joshua thought it was Lightning McQueen. I placed the shopping bags in a chair by the display while the kids posed with the cars. I was just about finished with grocery shopping half an hour later when Jun asked where the bags were. Whoops... I left it in the car display. Jun hurriedly went back for it while I paid for the groceries. After paying, I spied Jun walking back and was relieved to see he got the bags back. We were on our way to the parking lot when our yaya pointed out the grocery shopping bag I forgot on the counter. Ay talaga! I was worse than my grandmother. And the piece de resistance, I was laughing my head off at something Jun said while we were walking back to the car when I tripped and fell on my left knee. I was so stunned at finding myself on the floor that it took several seconds before I got up. I now have a large bruise.

Really, when it rains, it pours.

Friday 13: Doing the Movies

Oooh! That time of the week again. I’m really thankful to Maria and KJ for initiating this Friday 13 thing. It’s something I look forward to every week. My last one was about books, this time, my friend Irene got me to do one about movies. Of course, I had to add a few more to get to 13. So here goes:

1. The last movie you saw in a theatre – My Super Ex-Girlfriend.

2. Current release movie you still want to see - Brokeback Mountain.

3. Last movie you rented/purchased for home viewing (and actually watched). I have to add this last part because I buy DVDs and never get to watch them. So for this one, that would be Underworld II.

4. Movie that made you laugh out loud – My Super Ex-Girlfriend. That first bedroom scene was hilarious!

5. Movie that made you cry – Passion of the Christ. I have yet to meet someone who did not get affected by this movie.

6. Movie that was a darling of the critics but you didn’t think lived up to the hype – American Beauty. Really now, the actors were good but the premise and the message wasn’t good enough for and Oscar Best picture.

7. Movie that you thought was better than what the critics thought – Can’t think of any

8. Favorite Pinoy movie – That would be the second part of the first Shake, Rattle and Roll movie – the one with Herbert Bautista and the manananggal. AHAHAHAHAHAHA!

9. Favorite animated movie – The Emperor’s New Groove (super funny!) and Beauty and the Beast.

10. Favorite movie musical – Phantom of the Opera. I didn’t think they would be able to replicate the magic of the play, but they did.

11. Favorite Disney villain – Esme from The Emperor’s New Groove. She’s not totally evil and she and her sidekick made the movie so, so funny!

12. Favorite movie remake – Sabrina. Loved the story and they cast Harrison Ford. How could I not love it? Also Father of the Bride. I actually like the remake than the first version with Elizabeth Taylor.

13. Favorite movies of all time. I base my choices on movies I could never get tired of and watch over and over and over again.
** Ever After – I watch this every time I see it aired on TV. Cinderella story and fabulous
ballgown I wish I wore to my wedding (minus the wings, of course!)
** Father of the Bride
** Gladiator
** Lord of the Rings – The Two Towers. I like this better than the Return of the King
because of the battle scene. You actually didn’t think they were going to win – I think
they portrayed the sense of impending doom very well.
** Indiana Jones Trilogy – I luuuurrvve Harrison Ford.

Quick Update

It feels good to write again after an almost two week hiatus. I mentioned that I was going on a week long vacation and was so ready with my list of things to do. But you know what they say about the best laid plans.

My maternal grandmother passed away last September 24 (Sunday). We had just spent the weekend at our house in Tagaytay and were coming home from lunch with my in-laws when my mother called with the sad news. My lola had lived with us ever since my lolo passed away more than 10 years ago. It was a good move for her in a lot of ways. It allowed her to be close to where all her children lived and also afforded her the companionship of her sister, who’s lived with us since I was a baby. We were able to get to know our lola better – since we never got to spend extended time with her except for summer or weekend visits to the province.

So it was a really sad time for the family. My Lola Mary will be sorely missed – even my kids know she’s gone.

Day after the funeral the typhoon hit and we lost power for three days. Everything was at a standstill. We had no power, no water and then Faith got sick. Imagine trying to sleep during a power outage, the occasional rain not giving enough relief from the heat with a feverish toddler tossing and turning and dripping with sweat that I felt so sorry for her. I think my upper arms got toned from all the paypay I did during those three days.

I’m back at work this week at my new job. The past week was very stressful and I’m looking forward to the next couple of days hopefully with nothing majorly stressful. We’ll miss our Lola forever but the power’s back on, Faith’s recovering, I’ve got an exciting new job so there’s no way to go but up from here and I’m keeping my fingers crossed.

A really late Friday 13 : Tagged by the Bookworm

A good friend of mine tagged me with the Bookworm and I thought it was a great idea for a Friday 13. You’re only supposed to choose one book but being a true bookworm, I couldn’t make up my mind so I cheated. It’s pretty late for a Friday 13 but I thought this one needed a lot of thought.

1. Book/s that changed my life

The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupery -- I read this book when I was young and was totally blown away. I love the way it is so full of insight and how, every time I read it, I get hit again and again by the truth it reveals about human nature. One of my favorite quotes: “You risk tears if you let yourself be tamed…”


Animal Farm by George Orwell – I will forever be thankful that I had the brilliance to take an English Lit class as one of my electives in UP. This book was a reading assignment and to put it simply, it really bothered me. The premise was simple and yet the imagery and the message, was so powerful.

2. Book you’ve read more than once – Gosh, this one was so difficult because if I listed it all, there would be more than a hundred of them.

Mythology by Edith Hamilton – There was an old worn out copy in our house and in a fit of boredom (I was 10), I picked it up. That started my fascination with Greek Mythology. I read this book over and over and over that I almost memorized it. I wasn’t surprised when I aced the Greek Mythology part in my fourth year high school English class.

The Arabian Nights – This book was a really thick Reader’s Digest children’s version that I borrowed (and never returned) from my aunt. I still have the super dog eared copy in a bookshelf, saving it for when the kids are old enough to enjoy it.

Doctors by Erich Segal – I read this when I was in UP. I was curious about Love Story (didn’t see the movie) and after reading it (too mushy), thought I’d try another one. I would read this every time I was in between books and read it cover to cover without getting a bit bored. It offers a fascinating insight into the lives of four Harvard Med school students. It was like reading Gross Anatomy (movie with Matthew Modine) only ten times more riveting.

3. Book you’d want on a desert island – Well, if I can’t have the complete set in the Buffy series (yeah, I’m a fan and wipe that smirk off your face because you don’t know what you’re missing!!!!!), then it would be any one of the books in #2.

4. Book that made you laugh

Confessions of a Shopaholic by Sophie Kinsella – She had me at the first page. Every girl has a Becky Bloomwood inside, just roaring to be let out. Shhhh, I keep my inner Becky in tranquilizers.

Bridget Jones’ Diary by Helen Fielding – This one doesn’t need any explanation. I never anticipated a movie version more than this one (except perhaps Harry Potter) and I wasn’t disappointed. The movie was as funny as the book.

5. Book that made you cry

Baby ER by Edward Humes– Perhaps because of Joshua’s premature birth (see blog post My Happy Ending), this book really ripped my heart out. Almost every chapter reduced me to tears. It’s a documentation of the heroic efforts made by a medical staff in a hospital in the U.S. that works in a Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (a place where the really sick babies are kept). Each case was poignant and heartbreaking and includes several chapters that discuss the history of treatment of preemies. It was particularly heartbreaking to read that doctors in the past often performed surgery on premature babies without anesthesia in the assumption that their nerves were so underdeveloped that they couldn’t feel pain. It was only years later that studies showed that preemies could feel ten times more pain – for most early preemies, just the brush of a parent’s finger on the skin would cause extreme pain. (Ok, I’m getting emotional again. Have…to….stop….)

What Remains by Carole Radziwill – I read an excerpt of this book from Oprah’s magazine and haunted Powerbooks until I had it. The author, who was the wife of JFK Jr’s. cousin, wrote about her and her husband’s very close relationship with John and Carolyn Bessette and how she dealt with the tragic accident that caused the Kennedy’s’ s death and losing her husband to cancer a few weeks later. Reading about her husband’s last moments in the hospital made me cry. I remember Ernest Hemingway said that all love stories end in tragedy because someone always dies.

6. Book that you wish you had written

Necroscope by Brian Lumley – I’ve always admired writers of good fantasy books because of the imagination required to create a world that captured a reader’s attention. This book is part of a horror/sci-fi/fantasy series made up of 10 (I think) books (and I have every one of them). It’s about vampires in an alternate world and a British intelligence agency (like the CIA) that’s made up of “gifted” agents. Fantastic series and really gory.

Harry Potter – no explanation needed.

7. Book that you wish you had never been written – For the life of me, I can’t think of a single one. There are a lot of books that I wish I didn’t buy or read but I think they were so forgettable that I just can’t remember the titles. Except for the book in number 11. That would probably be it.

8. Book you are reading at the moment -- Just finished “The Other Boleyn Girl” by Philippa Gregory. A brilliant historical fiction book based on the Boleyn sisters (Mary and Anne) and how they seduced King Henry VIII to gain power for their family.

9. Book you’ve been meaning to read

One hundred years of solitude by Gabriel Garcia Marquez -- I have the copy, I’ve always been curious about it, just haven’t gotten around to reading it.

10. Book you read in one sitting

Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone – I first found out about Harry Potter when I read a short blurb about it in Time Magazine (it wasn’t a sensation yet) and I thought, hmmm…children’s book. Am I glad I decided to give in to my curiosity and got a copy.

The Amulet of Samarkand by Jonathan Stroud -- Again, I stumbled on this one while browsing through Amazon and the comments made me interested. It’s a three part series (Bartimaeus Trilogy) that is guaranteed to cure your waiting for the next Harry Potter itch. It has the same elements that the Potter series has but with a totally different (and fresh) angle on magic. The “hero” is a djinn with a smart mouth reminiscent of Robin Williams’ genie in the animated Disney film, “Aladdin”. His comments are documented in footnotes and are laugh out loud funny.

11. Book you didn’t quite “get”

By the River Piedra I sat down and wept by Paulo Coelho – Ok, sorry to all the fans out there. I’ve been hearing all praises for this book and finally got down to reading it. I am so glad I just borrowed this book and didn’t buy it. I thought it was weird and creepy and trying hard to be deep in an existentialist and religious kind of way.


12. Three authors whose books you will always buy or read, no questions asked

Sophie Kinsella, J.K. Rowling, Sherrilyn Kenyon -- These are the only ones whose books, in my opinion, have never missed. Sadly, a lot of the authors whose books I read and (used to) patronize, are hit and miss. I loved Tom Clancy and Erich Seagal but their recent books have been a disappointment.

13. Forget the book and just watch the movie

Lord of the Rings – Yes I know it’s supposed to be a classic and I really tried to get into it but it bored me to tears.

Friday 13: Utterly Random

1. I was surprised to find out that although it is the Virgin Mary’s birthday today, it is not a holy day of obligation. The church was packed anyway which I think was cool.

2. Found out I have to start taking antibiotics (yup, am still sick). Bummer.

3. Taught the kids to say, “Yeah, baby!” with a gruff voice. Too funny!

4. There is a light at the end of the trying-to-lose-weight-but-failing-dismally tunnel. The treadmill my hubby bought arrived yesterday.

5. There is no way in hell I will ever be able to stop eating carbs. It’s impossible to cut out a whole food group and I don’t care what the freaking diet books say.

6. Jennifer Crusie’s “Bet Me” is my new favorite comfort book. Oh, I loved, loved, loved the book. All men should be like Cal. *sigh*

7. I only have two more weeks before I start a new job.

8. Am halfway done with the Christmas shopping for all the godchildren, nephews and nieces.

9. The new McDonald’s honey mustard sauce for chicken nuggets taste really good.

10. I just realized I can understand more than half of what comes out of my daughter Faith’s mouth. Imagine that. She’s growing up.

11. My hubby’s on his way to pick me up from work to go to the concert. How I can muster up enough energy for tonight is still a mystery. We’ll see if Gary V can get a scream out of me tonight.

12. I haven’t watched any episode of House for a month now. I miss him.

13. It’s hard to write when you’re sick.

Midweek Blahs

This week’s been the pits. I’ve had the flu since last Thursday – the works (cold, cough, achy muscles and joints). Of course, since my kids are an extension of my body (literally!), they caught it too (and this despite my going around over the weekend with a mask covering my nose and mouth).

So I stayed home from work last Monday and exiled Joshua and myself to our room. I banished Faith to my mom and her yaya in an effort to contain it. I should’ve known it was useless when Faith’s nose started dripping yesterday morning. Oh well. Meanwhile, Josh and I had a wonderful time during our quarantine. We were spooning on the couch in front of the TV – Josh occupied with the Disney channel and me alternating between napping and reading a book. We left the room to have lunch and went back for Joshua’s afternoon nap. I’d forgotten how I liked being in that space between sick and really sick – when it’s so easy for me to fall asleep (after taking my best friend – ibuprofen). I like to think of my annual flu as my body’s response to the daily grind and lack of sleep I subject it to.

Not completely well yet but am back at work. Woozy and with a sore nose but getting there. I have my birthday and the Gary V concert to look forward to this week. Woohoo!

Friday 13: Anywhere But Here

Sometimes, when I get really, really bored, I think of a place I’d rather be. Some would be places and times that are memorable, others are places I promised myself I’d visit in the future.

1. Back in UP Diliman. Entering the UP campus always leaves me feeling awed. The drive lined with the majestic acacia trees that for some reason, mutes the noise made by the constant stream of traffic on a busy school day. I’d remember the lazy, sunny afternoons after class, eating the best fishballs in the AS parking lot before going home.

2. Beach in Phuket on my honeymoon. ‘Nuff said. :D

3. A sidewalk café in Paris, reading a book.

4. A sun drenched villa in Tuscany.

5. Sunset in Boracay with Jun, sipping the best fresh strawberry or mocha shake in front of Jona’s, feet buried in the cool, white, perfect sand. Throw in a hot choriburger (grilled longganisa in a grilled bun with their special sauce) and I’m in heaven.

6. On a cliff viewing the Twelve Apostles in Melbourne. Now that was breathtaking.

7. Back on our rooftop with my sisters.

8. In bed with the kids and Jun, all tangled up in each other, laughing like crazy in our own little world.

9. Anywhere I can sit down and read a book uninterrupted. Even a bathroom will do.

10. Sydney Opera House with the fantastic view of the harbor.

11. San Francisco – one of my favorite cities.

12. A bookstore.

13. Anyplace, really. As long as Jun’s with me.

A taste of something else

Today I was on leave because Joshua's teacher was coming over to discuss his first semester evaluation. I had asked her to include him in the mock interviews in preparation for the big schools. I had also been feeling under the weather which I think is my annual flu -- I only get sick once a year, usually when my birthday's coming up. Weird, huh?

Nevertheless, I felt ok enough to bring Josh to school and do the groceries before picking him up. I decided to do the non-working mom thingy today and brought Faith with me without the yaya. So, dropped Josh at school and by 9am, Faith and I were happily cruising the aisles at the supermarket. Since Joshua wouldn't be off till 11:45 and we finished grocery shopping at 10, we hung out at Starbucks, me settling with my frapuccino and Faith sucking on a lollipop.

I loved it. I realized this is what my life will be like if I were a housewife (albeit with more chores, I know). I could tell the kids loved it too. Joshua was so happy I was bringing him to school and proudly announced to his teacher that his mommy was here! I loved cruising leisurely in the supermarket with Faith perched on the cart, mindlessly talking to each other about whether she wanted the chocolate milk with the cow or if she could open the package of cookies and eat it. It was a far cry from my usual mad dash through the market, anxious to finish the shopping in 30 minutes. In Starbucks, she just sat on my lap, licking her lolly, telling me that the guard outside looked sad. By 11:15, we were back in Joshua's school and Faith joined her kuya's class while they were doing art. I chatted with a dad who, like me, was waiting for his daughter Jiana (Josh's classmate). Only, unlike me, he seemed to be a familiar fixture in the school.

So I'm sure you can tell what I'm wishing for right now. I'm tired of getting up in the morning to get dressed for work. Tired of arriving home at 9pm, with only an hour with the kids before bedtime. This is why, I treasure the weekends so much, forgoing the chores that I feel need to be done so I can just play with the kids and do normal everyday stuff with them.

Yeah, really feeling the guilt here.

P.S.
Joshua's doing well and teacher feels he's ready to try for the big school! Yippee!

Friday 13

Quite possibly the most verbose 13 list ever. However, I felt like divulging what to me are the highlights of my childhood.

1. I once kissed a hot kettle on the stove because I didn’t want to get my fingers burned (I wanted to see if it was hot, you see). I went around with toothpaste on my burned lips for a week.

2. My sister kissed the frozen ice in the freezer because she was feeling hot. Her lips promptly got stuck (runs in the family huh?). What followed was pandemonium as my parents and Lola tried to figure out how to break her lip lock with the freezer. My youngest sister came by and while everyone was distracted, suddenly pulled my sister from the freezer. After the screaming, we all looked (fascinated) at the chunk of flesh from her lip that was left in the ice.

3. My grand-aunt has lived with us since I was four months old. She’s still with us, together with her older sister (my grandmother), and they have a grand time teasing my kids.

4. There are currently four generations of women living in our house: my grandmother, my mom, me and my daughter Faith. One of these days, I will get around to taking a photograph.

5. (Whisper) I have a goofy dad. He used to wear a makeshift grass skirt (made out of coconut leaves) and dance the hula in the street in front of our house. Now he’s a goofy grandpa and the kids love it.

6. My sister once fell naked from the guava tree in our backyard (she wasn’t hurt) because she was hiding from our maid who wanted to give her a bath.

7. Remember the infamous brownouts that plagued Manila years ago? My sisters and I spent the hot and humid evenings up on our roof, looking up at the stars and daydreaming for hours about who we were going to marry.

8. We were at the top of a mountain where my grandfather grew dalandan trees; I started running to catch up and couldn’t stop because of the incline. I was going faster and faster, screaming for my dad and in desperation, I grabbed my sister as I sped by. She was picking her way slowly through the trees and she got dragged with me – we kept going until my legs gave and I stumbled on the wet grass. She ran smack into a dalandan tree. I laughed my head off while she was (understandably) furious at me.

9. My cousins and I loved to swim in the river whenever we visited our grandparents in the sleepy small town of Sta. Maria, Laguna. One time, after swimming for more than an hour in the river we noticed this huge mound of carabao poop floating in the water.

10. Favorite past times in the province – playing shatong (which I was never good at), catching dragonflies, racing up and down the baboy kural, and when we were older, endless games of pekwa and pusoy dos by the light of the gas lamp.

11. At the height of the manananggal scare in Manila, my sisters and I got hysterical when we saw a shadow move across the bay window of our room. We ran screaming from the room only to be blocked from opening it by my youngest sister who got squashed across the door in our rush to open it. So there we were, alternately calling for my dad (who couldn’t come in because the door was locked) and trying to shove each other out of the way until we could drag our sister from the door to open it. I think we all slept in my parents’ room that night.

12. Weekend mass and dinner out afterwards is a sacred family ritual that we all look forward to. Boyfriends allowed. :D

13. If I don’t post anything after this one, it means my sisters have killed me.

Weekend Moments

Long weekends usually leave me wanting more. Naturally, the past three day weekend was not an exception. Anyway, highlights:

** Friday night date *g* -- My Super Ex-Girlfriend is one funny movie! I can't remember the last time I laughed out loud in a movie theater. Recent comedies usually just get a chuckle or a giggle from me (unless it's Adam Sandler in which case, I scowl). This movie got a guffaw out of me -- even after we left the theater.

** Saturday morning drive to Tagaytay with me taking over about halfway (the part where there's no traffic, heh heh). Cold weather, chilling with the kids and my parents at the house, fabulous fried chicken and seafood pasta for dinner, I tell ya, what more can you ask for?

** Kids with Grandpa. Need I say more?

** Kid's birthday party Sunday afternoon and Joshua needing no encouragement to join the games. You don't know how happy that makes me, since it means no more parties with Joshua glued to various parts of my anatomy he can attach himself to. Faith, being the trooper that she is, was just coolly casing the room, yaya following behind her, picking which balloons she wants.

** Again on the party, Faith and Joshua banding together versus a towheaded toddler who kept wanting to grab Faith's plastic tennis racket. Watching them bitch slap the kid was great! (Kidding!)

** On the way back from the party, I inadvertently said the word S-T-U-P-I-D and Joshua called me on it. I said sorry and told him he can give me a time out when we got home. Here's the rest of the conversation:

Josh: Ok, mommy. We'll give you a time out when we're home, right Daddy?
Jun : Right! I'm gonna tie mommy up.
Me : *Giggle* *Giggle* (I couldn't help it!)

** Joshua bolting upright in bed at 6:30 am Monday morning. Our conversation:

Josh : Mommy I have to make poopoo!
Me : Ok, go to the bathroom and tell Daddy.
Josh : (peering into my face) Mommy, are you staying with us today? You're not going to the office?
Me : No, I'm staying.
Josh : (smiling) Thanks mommy. I like it when you stay home with us.

Aww, man. Like I don't feel enough guilt already.

** Conversation with Faith when she saw I had a small rash on my arm:

Faith : What happened mommy? (pointing to my arm)
Me : Monster bit me.
Faith : Monster bite you?
Me : Yup
Faith : (crossing her arms and frowning) Monster bad! Faith angry!

Friday 13

A good friend of mine introduced the concept of Thursday 13 to me so I thought it would be cool to come up with my own 13. Only I decided to make it a Friday 13 – it satisfies my sense of the macabre. Plus, my writing juices tend to flow more freely when I know the weekend’s coming up. So here’s my Friday 13:

1. My husband had no idea of how goofy I really am until we were married.

2. I can sing instrumental songs really well. And I don't mean humming. My renditions of the Star Wars and Indiana Jones theme used to keep Jun awake on the long drives from Las Pinas to Project 4 (I sing it to him on the phone). Joshua loves my version of the Superman theme song -- he puts his arm up in the air (like he's flying) and has a serious look on his face the whole time I sing the song. I swear I have to videotape it one day to show at his wedding.

3. The more outrageous I am, the more my husband adores me.

4. I have a really weird way of eating M&Ms with peanuts. I eat it in stages, first I eat the candy coating, then I eat the chocolate and then the peanut. This is also the way I eat Ferrero Rocher chocolates.

5. My dad and I have developed a good system of eating chocolates with nuts. I eat the chocolate and when I’ve licked it clean, he gets the nuts. (That’s parenting for you!)

6. I am deathly scared of feathers attached to a living fowl (chicken, bird, duck, goose, and *shudder* turkey and ostrich).

7. I can’t stand any kind of suspense. I cover my eyes when watching scary/suspenseful movies and I like knowing how a book or a movie is going to end in advance (this absolutely kills Jun!).

8. I can fold both my eyelids upwards (to Jun’s and my siblings’ disgust). What the heck, it makes the kids laugh.

9. Driving brings out the worst in me.

10. I sometimes have trouble reconciling the girl I was then to who I am now. In a lot of ways, I still feel like a young girl, in an I-can’t believe-this-is-my-life kind of way.

11. I love shopping for gifts. (Oh, who am I kidding? I luuurrve shopping, period.)

12. I like my coffee strong with tons of sugar (Splenda, of course) and lots and lots (and lots!) of non-dairy creamer.

13. I am genuinely happy with my life.

(I made it Maria! :D)

Um, mommy can you come here for a sec?

This past weekend, I started two movies on DVD and got about halfway through but didn’t finish both of them. One was the movie “Click” which I started at around five thirty and had to stop because of dinner. Of course, after dinner meant baths for the kids, brush teeth, fix things for the work day and bedtime for the two rug rats. Then the hubby and I decided to watch “Underworld 2” which we decided to stop midway because we had to get up early the next day. Sometimes it seems my life is a constant state of interruptions. I get interrupted in the bathroom, reading, eating meals, getting ready (whether for bed, going out, etc.), watching TV, movies, etc., etc., etc.. Everything I do must be done at a very fast pace.

Being able to do things within a minimal amount of time has now become a habit. Things I can do in 5 minutes – eat meals and take a bath. I can finish getting dressed in 10-15 minutes and can do my own mani/pedi in 20-30 minutes. In the beginning when the kids were really young, it was a necessity, otherwise I wouldn’t even be able to go to the bathroom. Now, well, I guess I got used to operating in fast forward. And then Joshua and Faith got used to being attended to right away that they balk when I don’t give them my complete attention the minute they ask for it.

So I hurry, hurry, hurry. Hurry in getting the kids ready for bed ‘cause it’s late, completely missing the times Joshua would sing and make funny faces while washing up. I fast track getting the kids to sleep and miss the usually hilarious whispered conversations with Josh in the dark about nothing in particular. The things I loved to do (read books, chat with my sisters) were put aside so I can give my children the complete attention they wanted and (I thought) deserved.

Now I’m slowly regaining my sense of self. I realize I lost it for a while, being completely immersed in being a mother. I guess, as in everything, a balance must be kept. The kids are older and it won’t kill them to have to wait a few minutes before I can look at the huge poop they just plopped in the bathroom. Yeah, with experience comes the power to ascertain whether whatever it is can wait – or if it’s something you need to pay attention to right away say, like Josh putting a pillow over Faith’s face or catch the two of them hugging and kissing each other in a rare and heartwarming display of sibling love.

P.S.
I still haven’t decided whether to finish “Click” or not. Not a big fan of Adam Sandler who I think is the Hollywood version of Tito, Vic and Joey. I’m thinking maybe I’d rather watch Faith or Joshua go poop in the bathroom. It’s much more entertaining and the comic material is fresh. By the way, the post title is what Joshua says when he wants me to check out his poop. You didn't need to know that but too bad -- I felt like sharing.

Great start...NOT!

Gad! What a Monday! Morning traffic was horrendous -- it took me two hours to get to the office. And wouldn't you know it, on the very rare times that I have to drive (Jun worked overnight), it was stop and go even on the skyway *grrrrr*. Now Jun believes me when I say I'm cursed...every time it's my turn to drive, nine times out of ten, traffic will be bad. Just ask Argie, my former carpoolmate. (Di ba Arg?)

I'm still nursing a cold but had a really nice weekend vegging out and watching season one of House. Love, love, love it! Plus, I have a new toy!!! Got my new laptop and with Jun setting up the wireless thingy, we were in internet surfing heaven.

On my way out now, crossing my fingers that traffic won't be bad. I think I've suffered enough this morning.

Sleep Deprived

Thank goodness it's Friday. I've been sitting at my desk for the last 5 minutes trying to muster up enough energy to finish what I need to get done, to no avail. I have a slight cold and headache and my throat's congested, hence, I haven't had my caffeine fix -- my sister (who's a doctor) tells me to stay off caffeine and chocolates for the meantime. Plus, I've been sleep deprived for the past couple of days. Faith's been impossible these past nights! Who'd have thought that this sweet looking angel hides a sadistic streak reserved only for me? She's got these moods when she can't sleep and she refuses to just lie down beside me quietly until she falls asleep. Oh no, I have to sit up on the bed while she rearranges herself every two minutes on my lap until she falls asleep which happens in..oh, anytime from 30 minutes to an hour. Yeah, welcome to my life. With Jun and Joshua sleeping peacefully, I'm left to grapple with the two year old who can't sleep.

Some nights are better and some are worse. For instance, twice already, she climbed on my back (piggy back) and I had to bounce her lightly, while still sitting cross legged on the bed, bent over with Faith draped over my back. She actually fell asleep that way, leaving me with the dilemma of how to get her off my back and onto the bed without waking her. I think I spent five minutes trying to think of a solution. Then I stumbled on this twisting motion with my right arm so i could hold on to her head and sort of flip her on her back gently and onto to the pillow. It's a bit hard to describe...you have to actually see it for you to understand how I did it. The first time it happened I bent really low until my face was almost squashed to the pillow and then I slid her (hips first) onto the pillow. The arm twisting way is better, I think. Maybe by the third time I'll have it down to a science.

So, really...you get an idea why I am so happy it's Friday. While it doesnt exempt me from Faith's nocturnal bad habits, at least I don't have to get up early. Sigh! There's gotta be a better way. I'm exhausted!

My Five Minutes of Fame

Last week, Jun and I had the opportunity to appear on tv. My college friend who works for ANC invited us since they needed a married couple with kids to talk about the cost of having kids. Didn't take me long to decide to do it (yeah, like how many times will you get an opportunity to be on TV??!!). In fact, my friend was still explaining on the phone when I said, heck, YES!! And then I remembered it wasn't a solo parent guesting so I had to ask Jun if he was free, he he.

Needless to say, I thoroughly enjoyed the experience. It was my first time in a tv studio and I was surprised to see that the sets appear so much bigger on tv than they really are. We were both a bit nervous but Pia Hontiveros (the host) put us both at ease with her easy manner that after the first minute, I was happily jabbering away. My friends who saw the episode said I came across as very natural. Naturally madaldal, I barely gave Jun an opportunity to talk (which was ok with him, honest!). I came away from that tv appearance feeling like I missed my calling -- HA HA HA HA!!!! I should be on TV!

Unfortunately, since we don't have skycable, my parents weren't able to watch my debut. My friend promised me a tape of the episode (susan, please!!!) so I can watch it over and over and...eeep! I mean, so my family and kids can see it.

Seriously, I loved it. It was a bit surreal for me, so far removed from my everyday existence. It definitely shook things up for me. So much so that it's spurred me to do something I've wanted to do since last year. I won't tell till it's a sure thing. And no, it's not losing weight! Grr!

Le Sigh!

This post is long overdue! It's no secret that I'm a huuge Gary V fan so when I found out that he was having a concert at the Alabang Town Center, I immediately got tickets (free if you have the Ayala Discount Plus card). Jun and I were at the mall as early as 4:30pm (concert was starting at 6 and I wanted to get good seats). I was so thrilled to find Gary already on stage rehearsing. We were allowed to get our seats at 15 minutes to 6 pm, and we got seats at the 8th row from the stage.

As expected, the performance was flawless. I don't usually like going to concerts -- why pay good money to see them live (at itty bitty sizes) when you can listen to the CD? -- but I make an exception with Gary. I just love, love, love dancing to his old songs at his concerts. I've always liked Gary V's songs but from the first time I saw him live at a concert in UP, I've been hooked. Nothing brings out the groupie in me like he does. So Jun and I make it a point to watch his concerts as long as they're held in small, intimate venues. I remember that our first official date as a couple was the Gary V concert "By Request" at the Music Museum.

But the concert at ATC wasn't the best part. Afterwards, we were having dinner at Italiannis and guess who walked into the restaurant? Yep, their whole family also had dinner there. What a coincidence, huh??!!!!! *grin* It wasn't really a coincidence. He he. I just happened to notice that the restaurant was one of the sponsors so I was betting that that was where they were going after the concert. I bought some stationary and a pen and excitedly psyched myself to go up to him and ask for an autograph.

Under normal circumstances, celebrities really don't get me excited. I'm usually deadma if I see a famous person and couldn't care less about getting anybody's autograph except if it's for a friend or relative. I once asked for Larry Henares' autograph for my dad when I learned he was sitting right behind me in Italiannis Greenbelt. This time around, I really didn't want to intrude but it was a chance of a lifetime for me. So I walked up to their table and politely asked if I could have his autograph. Of course he said it was ok. We even chitchatted while he was writing -- I was thinking about getting our picture taken when i thought, what the heck, I'm here and he's here and Jun has his camera phone ready, so Go!!! Look and see!!! Woohoo!!!!



I swear, my hands were shaking from excitement and happiness! Some people (you know who you are, you evil creatures!) will probably laugh themselves crazy over this post, but I don't freaking care!!!! :D I don't think I will ever do this again for a local celebrity. For the life of me, I cannot think of another person in the local scene I admire as much as Gary. When I think about who else I'd like to have pictures of, I think of Oprah, Hugh Jackman, Brandon Routh (oh yes! -- preferably in his Superman costume), and, oh, probably all the hot guys who played in the World Cup. *wink, wink*

BTW, I learned from the horse's mouth that Gary has a series of concerts in August at the Music Museum. You bet your a*s I'm gonna be there!

Invasion of the Dinosaurs

Ever get the feeling that someone's watching you? My sister and I used to get that feeling when our bedroom was plastered floor to ceiling with Spandau Ballet and Duran Duran posters. So much so that we used to joke that maybe we shouldn't be getting dressed in the bedroom (as if!!). Fast forward to today -- I still feel like I'm being watched. And no, there are no posters of David Beckham and Hugh Jackman in our bedroom (I don't think my husband will approve). Instead, our bedroom is chockful of miniature dinosaurs. You name it, Joshua probably has it.

There are the little buggers. There's a whole range of them -- T-rexes of different sizes, an ultrasaurus (or a long neck to those who watch Land Before Time), stegosauruses, triceratops and even a large Godzilla thrown in.

Sometimes, when everyone's asleep and it's really dark (with a little thunder and lightning thrown in), I torture myself by thinking of really scary things. One of the scenarios is me and the kids surrounded by roaring miniature dinosaurs bent on revenge for all the times Joshua hurled them over the stairs or pretended to drown them in the bathtub. Yup, I've seen all those Chuckie movies -- and that's partly the reason why I think dolls are creepy.

Weird imaginations notwithstanding, I know we're stuck with the critters for the time being. Or until Joshua outgrows his fascination. In the meantime, I wonder where I can get a man-sized poster of David Beckham?? (Just kidding Jun!! You know you're the only one for me. He he)

T.G.I.F.

Ahhh...Friday. A day when all the pep talk and guilty thoughts about trying to be productive at work just fails miserably. It's times like these when my evil former carpoolmates and I would exchange bitchy nonsense over email and clog everybody's inbox.

We all hated it but those interminable car rides to and from Cavite that began at the crack of dawn were bearable only because of the company. The snarky comments about other people, the bitching about driving to Cavite, the Starbucks coffee stops and sweet corn merienda at Carmona and cheap shots directed at the SM and other Cavite malls are only some of the fond memories I have. And who can forget our two (was it only two?) attempts at playing badminton??!!

So I pestered Jong today to immediately send me the list of snarky things you'd love to say at work and other places (thanks Jong!!!! you've made my day!). You can imagine the field day we had the day I sent this. Whoever thought up these comments is a freaking genius or a totally evil person.

THINGS YOU'D LOVE TO SAY AT WORK AND OTHER PLACES

1. I can see your point but I still think you're full of shit.
2. I don't know what your problem is but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
3. How about never? Is never good for you?
4. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
5. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to see it my way.
6. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.
7. I'm out of my mind but feel free to leave a message.
8. I don't work here. I'm a consultant.
9. It sounds like English but I can't understand a word you're saying.
10. Ahhh, I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again.
11. I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.
12. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
13. I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't give a damn.
14. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
15. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
16. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
17. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.
18. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
19. What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?
20. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.
21. And your crybaby whiny-ass opinion would be?
22. Do I look like a people person?
23. This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.
24. I started out with nothing and still have most of it left.
25. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
26. If I throw a stick, will you leave?
27. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
28. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
29. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
30. A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.
31. Can I trade this job for what's behind door #1?
32. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
33. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?
34. Chaos, panic and disorder - my work here is done.
35. How do I set a laser printer to stun?
36. I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.

Have a good weekend people. Me, I'm going to find someone to be nasty to. Ciao!

Halloween twins

Joshua and Faith dressed in the same Halloween costume which I kept after my mom bought it for Joshua in 2002. They could be mistaken for twins!

See, this is what happens when I get access to our old picture files. I go crazy.

Juicy Baby

Saw these pictures recently among Jun's files on the computer and I couldn't get over them. These pictures made me miss having a baby in the house. (Uh-oh, treading on dangerous ground here!) Ha ha ha!! I think Jun suddenly had a big lump in his throat when he heard me say that.

That's four month old Faith in the pictures, in case you were wondering.

Not Again!

I mentioned in the previous post that Faith was sick. We initially thought it was a bacterial infection and was treating the fever with antibiotics. Little did I know it was the dreaded Kawasaki disease.

Faith's fever was going on the seventh day despite the antibiotics, her lips were severely chapped and her eyes were turning red. A call to her pediatrician alerted me to the possibility of kawasaki so I hit the internet and checked. Sure enough, she had the symptoms. A friend's son had gone through the same disease so I knew it was serious. We brought Faith to the hospital the next day and after taking a look at Faith, she was admitted for kawasaki.

It's a scary disease and not much is known about it except for the symptoms and how it is treated. Research on the web says that it is an illness that involves the skin, mouth and lymph nodes and typically affects children who are under the age of 5. The cause is unknown but if the symptoms are recognized early, the child can fully recover within a few days. Left untreated, it can lead to serious complications such as vasculitis (inflammation of the blood vessels which affects the coronary arteries) and other complications. For details about the illness, you may google it (kawasaki disease) or visit http://kidshealth.org/parent/medical/heart/kawasaki.html.

The only way to treat it is to administer a mega dose of gamma globulin (purified antibodies) which is run through an IV for at least 12 straight hours. I count myself very lucky that Faith did not have a very bad case. She had the fever, red eyes, cracked lips but that was pretty much it. I know that some children suffer rashes and severe muscle pain and skin peeling and I am very grateful that Faith was spared that. In fact, our hospital stay was very short (3 days). The symptoms disappeared as soon as the gamma globulin was administered. When they finished, Faith was running around the room with me frantically trying to follow her with the IV tubes and all. Check out these pictures we took of Faith clowning around in our hospital room Friday afternoon before we knew we were being discharged that night.

With her hand still wrapped in a diaper due to the heplock.

Playing cute with the camera

Unlike her kuya, this one really knows how to frown

Thought this was really cute

You see how much of a ham she is? You wouldn't think she was just barely recovering from a serious illness or that we spent the last three nights barely sleeping at night. As corny as this sounds, it makes me think of rainbows after a long spell of rain. (ooooh, that made me wince!)

All grown up

We celebrated Joshua's 4th birthday yesterday. It was a quiet one with just the family at home since Faith is also sick. But he was delighted nonetheless. So, on the occasion of Joshua's birthday, here are some Josh facts:

1. He is OBSESSED with dinosaurs. Our bedroom floor is littered with dinosaur figures of all shapes and sizes. It's amazing how Joshua remembers what each is called. Can you believe he can tell the difference between an iguanadon and an ultrasaurus and the difference between a triceratops and a chasmosaurus. The way he says velociraptor (ve-WO-ci-Wap-tor) always cracks me up.
Note: As a result, Faith can roar like a dinosaur just like her kuya. She does a mean T-rex, complete with foot stomp.

2. Josh is the sweetest little boy. He'll tell you he loves you for no special reason and when you least expect it (he'll just blurt it out from out of the blue). He's also very affectionate and doesn't mind being hugged and kissed.

3. Expect to have the funniest (and sometimes absurd) conversations when he's in the toilet doing the number 2. My dad finds it so entertaining that he doesn't mind keeping Joshua company while he's in the can. (See blog entry Conversations with Poop)

4. He's starting to ask a LOT of questions. See sample below:
- Who killed Jesus?
- Why is the moon bright?
- What do worms eat?
- What's inside a pencil/lamp/light bulb/bones/etc.,etc.,etc.. These questions can really stump me sometimes so I do the smart thing and pass the question to his dad. Hello??!! He's the Physics graduate, not me!

5. Faith brings out the Green Eyed Monster in him. Otherwise, he's such a good (if a bit hyper) little boy.

6. I swear Joshua doesn't know how to frown. Ask him to frown and you'll see a mix of a grin and a grimace. He can do a sad face, a happy face but cannot do a convincing angry face.

7. He's got stubby toes that for some weird reason, have always fascinated me since he was a baby. I loved kissing his toes when he was a baby (and until now). He also can't sleep without getting his feet rubbed (by me, of course -- no one else is as in love with his toes as I am).

8. Loves Jollibee chicken (what kid doesn't???) and instant noodles.

9. Has the tendency to be O.C.. For instance, he's liable to have a tantrum if my hand isn't "hot" -- he hates it when he holds my hand and it's cold, especially when he uses it to go to sleep. Unfortunately, Faith also got this habit. My kids never needed a pacifier -- they just use my hands. Which I warm by placing them under my armpits, ahahahahahahaha!!! Just kidding!

10. He's got a super imagination. Is famous in school for his stories about the dinosaur in his garden. You should hear us tell the story of his birth. The moment we get to the part where he's supposed to come out of my tummy he'll exclaim, "And then the T-rex appeared!"

11. I sometimes wonder if he's an adult trapped in a four year old's body. He's been known to tell you that he was "worried about you" or "take care of yourself" and "don't forget to put your seatbelt on!" Has no compunction about engaging any grown up for conversation (when he feels like it, of course).

12. He once told me that when he grows up, he's going to marry me! Is that sweet or what??!!!

13. Has a love-hate relationship with Faith.

14. Knows the words to the story "Goodnight Moon".

15. He's terrified of fastfood mascots.

P.S. The picture in this post was taken October last year. It's a candid shot of Joshua watching cartoons while we were getting ready to go to church. I just really love this photo of him.

What Being a Mommy Taught Me

Some things being a mother to these two rugrats taught me:

1. Material things are just things. It is patently difficult to keep books, CDs, magazines, even handbags from prying little fingers intent on playing with your stuff. What were once treasured or carefully kept possessions before have absolutely no importance to me now. Except my shoes.

2. Some, actually, a lot of things can wait -- the bed can always be fixed later, that you can still find your clothes in a messy closet, a messy bathroom is still a bathroom -- but having the opportunity to dance the noodle dance with your kids should not be passed up.

3. I've learned that I was a more relaxed parent the second time around. We let Faith play/crawl on the floor without vacuuming first, and that a weird sounding sneeze is not a good enough reason to go visit the pediatrician.

4. A fever will always be a scary thing. And that having your children get sick will always make you feel helpless.

5. A little voice saying, "I Love You" will always make your heart catch in your throat. Even if they say it to avoid being yelled at or being given a time out.

6. No matter how much I want to get away from the kids when things start getting crazy, it only takes 5 minutes before I start missing them.

7. You will always put their needs first before your own. Which is not to say that you don't need a time out every now and then. There are times when you really need to pay attention to yourself.

8. The pediatrician is my best friend.

9. Grandparents make the best nannies. Too bad they can't do it full time.

10. Sometimes talking in a whisper will get toddlers in the midst of a screaming tantrum pay attention faster.

11. Guilt is your constant companion.

12. You won't always be patient -- but you always need to be kind.

13. That mom instinct? It really works.

14. Sesame Street's appeal never goes away. Not even if you're a grown up.

15. Your children are separate individuals, no matter how close they are in age. What works on one doesn't necessarily work on the other. Or maybe boys are just different from girls. Go figure.

16. You really do understand what your mom went through with you.

17. My heart doesn't belong to me anymore. It's been walking around outside my body since my children were born.

Birthday Girl

She's two! She's two! Our beloved Pechay just turned two on the 15th. My baby girl is no longer a baby but a full fledged toddler with the matching temper (which her dad conveniently swears came from me, the nerve!).
I can wax poetic about her independence, how adorable she is, how juicy and yummy, how sweet and how bad her temper is. So here are some Faith facts:

1. She's a child magnet. For some reason, children are attracted to her. Which drives her older brother crazy. Really, you should see her in church. Kids (even toddlers) go up to her and try to touch her or hold her hand. And that's Joshua's cue to get her and drag her away. I can hardly wait for the time she wants to go to parties and flirt - I won't have to worry if her kuya Josh is there, he he.

2. NO MEANS NO. There is no such thing as wheedling with Faith. Doesn't work. With this baby, no means no. It means she doesn't want another spoonful of anything no matter what sound you make or how long the interval is. When she's done, she's done.

3. She is incapable of being distracted when she decides she wants something. She is so tenacious that 30 minutes after you think she's forgotten whatever thing you decided was too dangerous to give her, she'll try for it again. Take her from the room/toy/person and you'll have to endure a screaming fit complete with body contortions so make sure you've got a firm grip.

4. You can tell she's excited/happy about something when she pumps her fist into the air and yells, "woo, woo, woo!"

5. She loooooves white rice and shoves them by the spoonful into her mouth. She's also a chocoholic! Doesn't like ice cream.

6. Her favorite part of Sunday mass is the "peace be with you" part. She puckers up like a goldfish and kisses everyone...several times.

7. She's a water baby. Try to take her out of the pool and she'll scream bloody murder! She's just as happy in her plastic bathtub as she is in the pool. Just mention the word "bath" to her and she starts shedding her clothes.

8. Has a great belly laugh that manifests itself usually when her kuya Josh is trying to make her laugh.

9. She has a nasty habit of poking her fingers in your face...or pinching your face and then pressing her entire face on yours. I advise you to avoid this at all costs when she has a cold. Trust me.

10. Has a fondness for the word "utot" (pronounced oooo-toot). Everytime she does the deed, she'll announce it to the whole world...repeatedly.

11. She's not very good at pretending to be asleep. One time she tried to do this in the hospital when the nurse came in for her medication, her wiggling toes gave her away.

12. LITTLE DAREDEVIL. I can't count the number of times I almost had a heart attack because of her penchant for leaping off things. She has: leaped from sofas (back and arms), tables, slides, from the edge of a pool and has danced on top of a rickety plastic table.

13. She's a certified girly-girl. She likes pretty clothes and is fussy about what she wears -- to make her wear something she doesn't like you'll have to either tell her what she's wearing is yucky and icky or sedate her.

14. Never fails to run up to me everytime I come home from work. She'd ask me to carry her, put her hands on my face and say "Mommy!" with a sigh.

15. There's already a list of little boys whose parents have reserved her to be their promdate.

E-Bay

Lately, I've discovered the wonders of ebay. Not that I didn't know what it was about. I registered two years ago but I was never really into it. Then I became part of a yahoo group discussing books and of course, eventually, it drove me crazy that I couldn't get a hold of the books being talked about. I know I could order them from Amazon and B&N but the sky high shipping rates were making me think twice.

So on a whim, I checked out ebay...and found nirvana. Thank goodness there are kind souls out there who are willing to part with their beloved books. I know I'm too selfish to do that. I've gotten a lot of books this way -- and developed good relationships with my sukis.

What a fast and efficient way to feed my addiction.