Sometimes, when I get really, really bored, I think of a place I’d rather be. Some would be places and times that are memorable, others are places I promised myself I’d visit in the future.
1. Back in UP Diliman. Entering the UP campus always leaves me feeling awed. The drive lined with the majestic acacia trees that for some reason, mutes the noise made by the constant stream of traffic on a busy school day. I’d remember the lazy, sunny afternoons after class, eating the best fishballs in the AS parking lot before going home.
2. Beach in Phuket on my honeymoon. ‘Nuff said. :D
3. A sidewalk café in Paris, reading a book.
4. A sun drenched villa in Tuscany.
5. Sunset in Boracay with Jun, sipping the best fresh strawberry or mocha shake in front of Jona’s, feet buried in the cool, white, perfect sand. Throw in a hot choriburger (grilled longganisa in a grilled bun with their special sauce) and I’m in heaven.
6. On a cliff viewing the Twelve Apostles in Melbourne. Now that was breathtaking.
7. Back on our rooftop with my sisters.
8. In bed with the kids and Jun, all tangled up in each other, laughing like crazy in our own little world.
9. Anywhere I can sit down and read a book uninterrupted. Even a bathroom will do.
10. Sydney Opera House with the fantastic view of the harbor.
11. San Francisco – one of my favorite cities.
12. A bookstore.
13. Anyplace, really. As long as Jun’s with me.
Friday, September 01, 2006
A taste of something else
Today I was on leave because Joshua's teacher was coming over to discuss his first semester evaluation. I had asked her to include him in the mock interviews in preparation for the big schools. I had also been feeling under the weather which I think is my annual flu -- I only get sick once a year, usually when my birthday's coming up. Weird, huh?
Nevertheless, I felt ok enough to bring Josh to school and do the groceries before picking him up. I decided to do the non-working mom thingy today and brought Faith with me without the yaya. So, dropped Josh at school and by 9am, Faith and I were happily cruising the aisles at the supermarket. Since Joshua wouldn't be off till 11:45 and we finished grocery shopping at 10, we hung out at Starbucks, me settling with my frapuccino and Faith sucking on a lollipop.
I loved it. I realized this is what my life will be like if I were a housewife (albeit with more chores, I know). I could tell the kids loved it too. Joshua was so happy I was bringing him to school and proudly announced to his teacher that his mommy was here! I loved cruising leisurely in the supermarket with Faith perched on the cart, mindlessly talking to each other about whether she wanted the chocolate milk with the cow or if she could open the package of cookies and eat it. It was a far cry from my usual mad dash through the market, anxious to finish the shopping in 30 minutes. In Starbucks, she just sat on my lap, licking her lolly, telling me that the guard outside looked sad. By 11:15, we were back in Joshua's school and Faith joined her kuya's class while they were doing art. I chatted with a dad who, like me, was waiting for his daughter Jiana (Josh's classmate). Only, unlike me, he seemed to be a familiar fixture in the school.
So I'm sure you can tell what I'm wishing for right now. I'm tired of getting up in the morning to get dressed for work. Tired of arriving home at 9pm, with only an hour with the kids before bedtime. This is why, I treasure the weekends so much, forgoing the chores that I feel need to be done so I can just play with the kids and do normal everyday stuff with them.
Yeah, really feeling the guilt here.
P.S.
Joshua's doing well and teacher feels he's ready to try for the big school! Yippee!
Nevertheless, I felt ok enough to bring Josh to school and do the groceries before picking him up. I decided to do the non-working mom thingy today and brought Faith with me without the yaya. So, dropped Josh at school and by 9am, Faith and I were happily cruising the aisles at the supermarket. Since Joshua wouldn't be off till 11:45 and we finished grocery shopping at 10, we hung out at Starbucks, me settling with my frapuccino and Faith sucking on a lollipop.
I loved it. I realized this is what my life will be like if I were a housewife (albeit with more chores, I know). I could tell the kids loved it too. Joshua was so happy I was bringing him to school and proudly announced to his teacher that his mommy was here! I loved cruising leisurely in the supermarket with Faith perched on the cart, mindlessly talking to each other about whether she wanted the chocolate milk with the cow or if she could open the package of cookies and eat it. It was a far cry from my usual mad dash through the market, anxious to finish the shopping in 30 minutes. In Starbucks, she just sat on my lap, licking her lolly, telling me that the guard outside looked sad. By 11:15, we were back in Joshua's school and Faith joined her kuya's class while they were doing art. I chatted with a dad who, like me, was waiting for his daughter Jiana (Josh's classmate). Only, unlike me, he seemed to be a familiar fixture in the school.
So I'm sure you can tell what I'm wishing for right now. I'm tired of getting up in the morning to get dressed for work. Tired of arriving home at 9pm, with only an hour with the kids before bedtime. This is why, I treasure the weekends so much, forgoing the chores that I feel need to be done so I can just play with the kids and do normal everyday stuff with them.
Yeah, really feeling the guilt here.
P.S.
Joshua's doing well and teacher feels he's ready to try for the big school! Yippee!
Friday, August 25, 2006
Friday 13
Quite possibly the most verbose 13 list ever. However, I felt like divulging what to me are the highlights of my childhood.
1. I once kissed a hot kettle on the stove because I didn’t want to get my fingers burned (I wanted to see if it was hot, you see). I went around with toothpaste on my burned lips for a week.
2. My sister kissed the frozen ice in the freezer because she was feeling hot. Her lips promptly got stuck (runs in the family huh?). What followed was pandemonium as my parents and Lola tried to figure out how to break her lip lock with the freezer. My youngest sister came by and while everyone was distracted, suddenly pulled my sister from the freezer. After the screaming, we all looked (fascinated) at the chunk of flesh from her lip that was left in the ice.
3. My grand-aunt has lived with us since I was four months old. She’s still with us, together with her older sister (my grandmother), and they have a grand time teasing my kids.
4. There are currently four generations of women living in our house: my grandmother, my mom, me and my daughter Faith. One of these days, I will get around to taking a photograph.
5. (Whisper) I have a goofy dad. He used to wear a makeshift grass skirt (made out of coconut leaves) and dance the hula in the street in front of our house. Now he’s a goofy grandpa and the kids love it.
6. My sister once fell naked from the guava tree in our backyard (she wasn’t hurt) because she was hiding from our maid who wanted to give her a bath.
7. Remember the infamous brownouts that plagued Manila years ago? My sisters and I spent the hot and humid evenings up on our roof, looking up at the stars and daydreaming for hours about who we were going to marry.
8. We were at the top of a mountain where my grandfather grew dalandan trees; I started running to catch up and couldn’t stop because of the incline. I was going faster and faster, screaming for my dad and in desperation, I grabbed my sister as I sped by. She was picking her way slowly through the trees and she got dragged with me – we kept going until my legs gave and I stumbled on the wet grass. She ran smack into a dalandan tree. I laughed my head off while she was (understandably) furious at me.
9. My cousins and I loved to swim in the river whenever we visited our grandparents in the sleepy small town of Sta. Maria, Laguna. One time, after swimming for more than an hour in the river we noticed this huge mound of carabao poop floating in the water.
10. Favorite past times in the province – playing shatong (which I was never good at), catching dragonflies, racing up and down the baboy kural, and when we were older, endless games of pekwa and pusoy dos by the light of the gas lamp.
11. At the height of the manananggal scare in Manila, my sisters and I got hysterical when we saw a shadow move across the bay window of our room. We ran screaming from the room only to be blocked from opening it by my youngest sister who got squashed across the door in our rush to open it. So there we were, alternately calling for my dad (who couldn’t come in because the door was locked) and trying to shove each other out of the way until we could drag our sister from the door to open it. I think we all slept in my parents’ room that night.
12. Weekend mass and dinner out afterwards is a sacred family ritual that we all look forward to. Boyfriends allowed. :D
13. If I don’t post anything after this one, it means my sisters have killed me.
1. I once kissed a hot kettle on the stove because I didn’t want to get my fingers burned (I wanted to see if it was hot, you see). I went around with toothpaste on my burned lips for a week.
2. My sister kissed the frozen ice in the freezer because she was feeling hot. Her lips promptly got stuck (runs in the family huh?). What followed was pandemonium as my parents and Lola tried to figure out how to break her lip lock with the freezer. My youngest sister came by and while everyone was distracted, suddenly pulled my sister from the freezer. After the screaming, we all looked (fascinated) at the chunk of flesh from her lip that was left in the ice.
3. My grand-aunt has lived with us since I was four months old. She’s still with us, together with her older sister (my grandmother), and they have a grand time teasing my kids.
4. There are currently four generations of women living in our house: my grandmother, my mom, me and my daughter Faith. One of these days, I will get around to taking a photograph.
5. (Whisper) I have a goofy dad. He used to wear a makeshift grass skirt (made out of coconut leaves) and dance the hula in the street in front of our house. Now he’s a goofy grandpa and the kids love it.
6. My sister once fell naked from the guava tree in our backyard (she wasn’t hurt) because she was hiding from our maid who wanted to give her a bath.
7. Remember the infamous brownouts that plagued Manila years ago? My sisters and I spent the hot and humid evenings up on our roof, looking up at the stars and daydreaming for hours about who we were going to marry.
8. We were at the top of a mountain where my grandfather grew dalandan trees; I started running to catch up and couldn’t stop because of the incline. I was going faster and faster, screaming for my dad and in desperation, I grabbed my sister as I sped by. She was picking her way slowly through the trees and she got dragged with me – we kept going until my legs gave and I stumbled on the wet grass. She ran smack into a dalandan tree. I laughed my head off while she was (understandably) furious at me.
9. My cousins and I loved to swim in the river whenever we visited our grandparents in the sleepy small town of Sta. Maria, Laguna. One time, after swimming for more than an hour in the river we noticed this huge mound of carabao poop floating in the water.
10. Favorite past times in the province – playing shatong (which I was never good at), catching dragonflies, racing up and down the baboy kural, and when we were older, endless games of pekwa and pusoy dos by the light of the gas lamp.
11. At the height of the manananggal scare in Manila, my sisters and I got hysterical when we saw a shadow move across the bay window of our room. We ran screaming from the room only to be blocked from opening it by my youngest sister who got squashed across the door in our rush to open it. So there we were, alternately calling for my dad (who couldn’t come in because the door was locked) and trying to shove each other out of the way until we could drag our sister from the door to open it. I think we all slept in my parents’ room that night.
12. Weekend mass and dinner out afterwards is a sacred family ritual that we all look forward to. Boyfriends allowed. :D
13. If I don’t post anything after this one, it means my sisters have killed me.
Tuesday, August 22, 2006
Weekend Moments
Long weekends usually leave me wanting more. Naturally, the past three day weekend was not an exception. Anyway, highlights:
** Friday night date *g* -- My Super Ex-Girlfriend is one funny movie! I can't remember the last time I laughed out loud in a movie theater. Recent comedies usually just get a chuckle or a giggle from me (unless it's Adam Sandler in which case, I scowl). This movie got a guffaw out of me -- even after we left the theater.
** Saturday morning drive to Tagaytay with me taking over about halfway (the part where there's no traffic, heh heh). Cold weather, chilling with the kids and my parents at the house, fabulous fried chicken and seafood pasta for dinner, I tell ya, what more can you ask for?
** Kids with Grandpa. Need I say more?
** Kid's birthday party Sunday afternoon and Joshua needing no encouragement to join the games. You don't know how happy that makes me, since it means no more parties with Joshua glued to various parts of my anatomy he can attach himself to. Faith, being the trooper that she is, was just coolly casing the room, yaya following behind her, picking which balloons she wants.
** Again on the party, Faith and Joshua banding together versus a towheaded toddler who kept wanting to grab Faith's plastic tennis racket. Watching them bitch slap the kid was great! (Kidding!)
** On the way back from the party, I inadvertently said the word S-T-U-P-I-D and Joshua called me on it. I said sorry and told him he can give me a time out when we got home. Here's the rest of the conversation:
Josh: Ok, mommy. We'll give you a time out when we're home, right Daddy?
Jun : Right! I'm gonna tie mommy up.
Me : *Giggle* *Giggle* (I couldn't help it!)
** Joshua bolting upright in bed at 6:30 am Monday morning. Our conversation:
Josh : Mommy I have to make poopoo!
Me : Ok, go to the bathroom and tell Daddy.
Josh : (peering into my face) Mommy, are you staying with us today? You're not going to the office?
Me : No, I'm staying.
Josh : (smiling) Thanks mommy. I like it when you stay home with us.
Aww, man. Like I don't feel enough guilt already.
** Conversation with Faith when she saw I had a small rash on my arm:
Faith : What happened mommy? (pointing to my arm)
Me : Monster bit me.
Faith : Monster bite you?
Me : Yup
Faith : (crossing her arms and frowning) Monster bad! Faith angry!
** Friday night date *g* -- My Super Ex-Girlfriend is one funny movie! I can't remember the last time I laughed out loud in a movie theater. Recent comedies usually just get a chuckle or a giggle from me (unless it's Adam Sandler in which case, I scowl). This movie got a guffaw out of me -- even after we left the theater.
** Saturday morning drive to Tagaytay with me taking over about halfway (the part where there's no traffic, heh heh). Cold weather, chilling with the kids and my parents at the house, fabulous fried chicken and seafood pasta for dinner, I tell ya, what more can you ask for?
** Kids with Grandpa. Need I say more?** Kid's birthday party Sunday afternoon and Joshua needing no encouragement to join the games. You don't know how happy that makes me, since it means no more parties with Joshua glued to various parts of my anatomy he can attach himself to. Faith, being the trooper that she is, was just coolly casing the room, yaya following behind her, picking which balloons she wants.
** Again on the party, Faith and Joshua banding together versus a towheaded toddler who kept wanting to grab Faith's plastic tennis racket. Watching them bitch slap the kid was great! (Kidding!)
** On the way back from the party, I inadvertently said the word S-T-U-P-I-D and Joshua called me on it. I said sorry and told him he can give me a time out when we got home. Here's the rest of the conversation:
Josh: Ok, mommy. We'll give you a time out when we're home, right Daddy?
Jun : Right! I'm gonna tie mommy up.
Me : *Giggle* *Giggle* (I couldn't help it!)
** Joshua bolting upright in bed at 6:30 am Monday morning. Our conversation:
Josh : Mommy I have to make poopoo!
Me : Ok, go to the bathroom and tell Daddy.
Josh : (peering into my face) Mommy, are you staying with us today? You're not going to the office?
Me : No, I'm staying.
Josh : (smiling) Thanks mommy. I like it when you stay home with us.
Aww, man. Like I don't feel enough guilt already.
** Conversation with Faith when she saw I had a small rash on my arm:
Faith : What happened mommy? (pointing to my arm)
Me : Monster bit me.
Faith : Monster bite you?
Me : Yup
Faith : (crossing her arms and frowning) Monster bad! Faith angry!
Friday, August 18, 2006
Friday 13
A good friend of mine introduced the concept of Thursday 13 to me so I thought it would be cool to come up with my own 13. Only I decided to make it a Friday 13 – it satisfies my sense of the macabre. Plus, my writing juices tend to flow more freely when I know the weekend’s coming up. So here’s my Friday 13:
1. My husband had no idea of how goofy I really am until we were married.
2. I can sing instrumental songs really well. And I don't mean humming. My renditions of the Star Wars and Indiana Jones theme used to keep Jun awake on the long drives from Las Pinas to Project 4 (I sing it to him on the phone). Joshua loves my version of the Superman theme song -- he puts his arm up in the air (like he's flying) and has a serious look on his face the whole time I sing the song. I swear I have to videotape it one day to show at his wedding.
3. The more outrageous I am, the more my husband adores me.
4. I have a really weird way of eating M&Ms with peanuts. I eat it in stages, first I eat the candy coating, then I eat the chocolate and then the peanut. This is also the way I eat Ferrero Rocher chocolates.
5. My dad and I have developed a good system of eating chocolates with nuts. I eat the chocolate and when I’ve licked it clean, he gets the nuts. (That’s parenting for you!)
6. I am deathly scared of feathers attached to a living fowl (chicken, bird, duck, goose, and *shudder* turkey and ostrich).
7. I can’t stand any kind of suspense. I cover my eyes when watching scary/suspenseful movies and I like knowing how a book or a movie is going to end in advance (this absolutely kills Jun!).
8. I can fold both my eyelids upwards (to Jun’s and my siblings’ disgust). What the heck, it makes the kids laugh.
9. Driving brings out the worst in me.
10. I sometimes have trouble reconciling the girl I was then to who I am now. In a lot of ways, I still feel like a young girl, in an I-can’t believe-this-is-my-life kind of way.
11. I love shopping for gifts. (Oh, who am I kidding? I luuurrve shopping, period.)
12. I like my coffee strong with tons of sugar (Splenda, of course) and lots and lots (and lots!) of non-dairy creamer.
13. I am genuinely happy with my life.
(I made it Maria! :D)
1. My husband had no idea of how goofy I really am until we were married.
2. I can sing instrumental songs really well. And I don't mean humming. My renditions of the Star Wars and Indiana Jones theme used to keep Jun awake on the long drives from Las Pinas to Project 4 (I sing it to him on the phone). Joshua loves my version of the Superman theme song -- he puts his arm up in the air (like he's flying) and has a serious look on his face the whole time I sing the song. I swear I have to videotape it one day to show at his wedding.
3. The more outrageous I am, the more my husband adores me.
4. I have a really weird way of eating M&Ms with peanuts. I eat it in stages, first I eat the candy coating, then I eat the chocolate and then the peanut. This is also the way I eat Ferrero Rocher chocolates.
5. My dad and I have developed a good system of eating chocolates with nuts. I eat the chocolate and when I’ve licked it clean, he gets the nuts. (That’s parenting for you!)
6. I am deathly scared of feathers attached to a living fowl (chicken, bird, duck, goose, and *shudder* turkey and ostrich).
7. I can’t stand any kind of suspense. I cover my eyes when watching scary/suspenseful movies and I like knowing how a book or a movie is going to end in advance (this absolutely kills Jun!).
8. I can fold both my eyelids upwards (to Jun’s and my siblings’ disgust). What the heck, it makes the kids laugh.
9. Driving brings out the worst in me.
10. I sometimes have trouble reconciling the girl I was then to who I am now. In a lot of ways, I still feel like a young girl, in an I-can’t believe-this-is-my-life kind of way.
11. I love shopping for gifts. (Oh, who am I kidding? I luuurrve shopping, period.)
12. I like my coffee strong with tons of sugar (Splenda, of course) and lots and lots (and lots!) of non-dairy creamer.
13. I am genuinely happy with my life.
(I made it Maria! :D)
Wednesday, August 16, 2006
Um, mommy can you come here for a sec?
This past weekend, I started two movies on DVD and got about halfway through but didn’t finish both of them. One was the movie “Click” which I started at around five thirty and had to stop because of dinner. Of course, after dinner meant baths for the kids, brush teeth, fix things for the work day and bedtime for the two rug rats. Then the hubby and I decided to watch “Underworld 2” which we decided to stop midway because we had to get up early the next day. Sometimes it seems my life is a constant state of interruptions. I get interrupted in the bathroom, reading, eating meals, getting ready (whether for bed, going out, etc.), watching TV, movies, etc., etc., etc.. Everything I do must be done at a very fast pace.
Being able to do things within a minimal amount of time has now become a habit. Things I can do in 5 minutes – eat meals and take a bath. I can finish getting dressed in 10-15 minutes and can do my own mani/pedi in 20-30 minutes. In the beginning when the kids were really young, it was a necessity, otherwise I wouldn’t even be able to go to the bathroom. Now, well, I guess I got used to operating in fast forward. And then Joshua and Faith got used to being attended to right away that they balk when I don’t give them my complete attention the minute they ask for it.
So I hurry, hurry, hurry. Hurry in getting the kids ready for bed ‘cause it’s late, completely missing the times Joshua would sing and make funny faces while washing up. I fast track getting the kids to sleep and miss the usually hilarious whispered conversations with Josh in the dark about nothing in particular. The things I loved to do (read books, chat with my sisters) were put aside so I can give my children the complete attention they wanted and (I thought) deserved.
Now I’m slowly regaining my sense of self. I realize I lost it for a while, being completely immersed in being a mother. I guess, as in everything, a balance must be kept. The kids are older and it won’t kill them to have to wait a few minutes before I can look at the huge poop they just plopped in the bathroom. Yeah, with experience comes the power to ascertain whether whatever it is can wait – or if it’s something you need to pay attention to right away say, like Josh putting a pillow over Faith’s face or catch the two of them hugging and kissing each other in a rare and heartwarming display of sibling love.
P.S.
I still haven’t decided whether to finish “Click” or not. Not a big fan of Adam Sandler who I think is the Hollywood version of Tito, Vic and Joey. I’m thinking maybe I’d rather watch Faith or Joshua go poop in the bathroom. It’s much more entertaining and the comic material is fresh. By the way, the post title is what Joshua says when he wants me to check out his poop. You didn't need to know that but too bad -- I felt like sharing.
Monday, July 31, 2006
Great start...NOT!
Gad! What a Monday! Morning traffic was horrendous -- it took me two hours to get to the office. And wouldn't you know it, on the very rare times that I have to drive (Jun worked overnight), it was stop and go even on the skyway *grrrrr*. Now Jun believes me when I say I'm cursed...every time it's my turn to drive, nine times out of ten, traffic will be bad. Just ask Argie, my former carpoolmate. (Di ba Arg?)
I'm still nursing a cold but had a really nice weekend vegging out and watching season one of House. Love, love, love it! Plus, I have a new toy!!! Got my new laptop and with Jun setting up the wireless thingy, we were in internet surfing heaven.
On my way out now, crossing my fingers that traffic won't be bad. I think I've suffered enough this morning.
I'm still nursing a cold but had a really nice weekend vegging out and watching season one of House. Love, love, love it! Plus, I have a new toy!!! Got my new laptop and with Jun setting up the wireless thingy, we were in internet surfing heaven.
On my way out now, crossing my fingers that traffic won't be bad. I think I've suffered enough this morning.
Friday, July 28, 2006
Sleep Deprived
Thank goodness it's Friday. 
I've been sitting at my desk for the last 5 minutes trying to muster up enough energy to finish what I need to get done, to no avail. I have a slight cold and headache and my throat's congested, hence, I haven't had my caffeine fix -- my sister (who's a doctor) tells me to stay off caffeine and chocolates for the meantime. Plus, I've been sleep deprived for the past couple of days. Faith's been impossible these past nights! Who'd have thought that this sweet looking angel hides a sadistic streak reserved only for me? She's got these moods when she can't sleep and she refuses to just lie down beside me quietly until she falls asleep. Oh no, I have to sit up on the bed while she rearranges herself every two minutes on my lap until she falls asleep which happens in..oh, anytime from 30 minutes to an hour. Yeah, welcome to my life. With Jun and Joshua sleeping peacefully, I'm left to grapple with the two year old who can't sleep.
Some nights are better and some are worse.
For instance, twice already, she climbed on my back (piggy back) and I had to bounce her lightly, while still sitting cross legged on the bed, bent over with Faith draped over my back. She actually fell asleep that way, leaving me with the dilemma of how to get her off my back and onto the bed without waking her. I think I spent five minutes trying to think of a solution. Then I stumbled on this twisting motion with my right arm so i could hold on to her head and sort of flip her on her back gently and onto to the pillow. It's a bit hard to describe...you have to actually see it for you to understand how I did it. The first time it happened I bent really low until my face was almost squashed to the pillow and then I slid her (hips first) onto the pillow. The arm twisting way is better, I think. Maybe by the third time I'll have it down to a science.
So, really...you get an idea why I am so happy it's Friday. While it doesnt exempt me from Faith's nocturnal bad habits, at least I don't have to get up early. Sigh! There's gotta be a better way. I'm exhausted!
I've been sitting at my desk for the last 5 minutes trying to muster up enough energy to finish what I need to get done, to no avail. I have a slight cold and headache and my throat's congested, hence, I haven't had my caffeine fix -- my sister (who's a doctor) tells me to stay off caffeine and chocolates for the meantime. Plus, I've been sleep deprived for the past couple of days. Faith's been impossible these past nights! Who'd have thought that this sweet looking angel hides a sadistic streak reserved only for me? She's got these moods when she can't sleep and she refuses to just lie down beside me quietly until she falls asleep. Oh no, I have to sit up on the bed while she rearranges herself every two minutes on my lap until she falls asleep which happens in..oh, anytime from 30 minutes to an hour. Yeah, welcome to my life. With Jun and Joshua sleeping peacefully, I'm left to grapple with the two year old who can't sleep.Some nights are better and some are worse.
For instance, twice already, she climbed on my back (piggy back) and I had to bounce her lightly, while still sitting cross legged on the bed, bent over with Faith draped over my back. She actually fell asleep that way, leaving me with the dilemma of how to get her off my back and onto the bed without waking her. I think I spent five minutes trying to think of a solution. Then I stumbled on this twisting motion with my right arm so i could hold on to her head and sort of flip her on her back gently and onto to the pillow. It's a bit hard to describe...you have to actually see it for you to understand how I did it. The first time it happened I bent really low until my face was almost squashed to the pillow and then I slid her (hips first) onto the pillow. The arm twisting way is better, I think. Maybe by the third time I'll have it down to a science.So, really...you get an idea why I am so happy it's Friday. While it doesnt exempt me from Faith's nocturnal bad habits, at least I don't have to get up early. Sigh! There's gotta be a better way. I'm exhausted!
Thursday, July 27, 2006
My Five Minutes of Fame
Last week, Jun and I had the opportunity to appear on tv. My college friend who works for ANC invited us since they needed a married couple with kids to talk about the cost of having kids. Didn't take me long to decide to do it (yeah, like how many times will you get an opportunity to be on TV??!!). In fact, my friend was still explaining on the phone when I said, heck, YES!! And then I remembered it wasn't a solo parent guesting so I had to ask Jun if he was free, he he.
Needless to say, I thoroughly enjoyed the experience. It was my first time in a tv studio and I was surprised to see that the sets appear so much bigger on tv than they really are. We were both a bit nervous but Pia Hontiveros (the host) put us both at ease with her easy manner that after the first minute, I was happily jabbering away. My friends who saw the episode said I came across as very natural. Naturally madaldal, I barely gave Jun an opportunity to talk (which was ok with him, honest!). I came away from that tv appearance feeling like I missed my calling -- HA HA HA HA!!!! I should be on TV!
Unfortunately, since we don't have skycable, my parents weren't able to watch my debut. My friend promised me a tape of the episode (susan, please!!!) so I can watch it over and over and...eeep! I mean, so my family and kids can see it.
Seriously, I loved it. It was a bit surreal for me, so far removed from my everyday existence. It definitely shook things up for me. So much so that it's spurred me to do something I've wanted to do since last year. I won't tell till it's a sure thing. And no, it's not losing weight! Grr!
Needless to say, I thoroughly enjoyed the experience. It was my first time in a tv studio and I was surprised to see that the sets appear so much bigger on tv than they really are. We were both a bit nervous but Pia Hontiveros (the host) put us both at ease with her easy manner that after the first minute, I was happily jabbering away. My friends who saw the episode said I came across as very natural. Naturally madaldal, I barely gave Jun an opportunity to talk (which was ok with him, honest!). I came away from that tv appearance feeling like I missed my calling -- HA HA HA HA!!!! I should be on TV!
Unfortunately, since we don't have skycable, my parents weren't able to watch my debut. My friend promised me a tape of the episode (susan, please!!!) so I can watch it over and over and...eeep! I mean, so my family and kids can see it.
Seriously, I loved it. It was a bit surreal for me, so far removed from my everyday existence. It definitely shook things up for me. So much so that it's spurred me to do something I've wanted to do since last year. I won't tell till it's a sure thing. And no, it's not losing weight! Grr!
Thursday, July 20, 2006
Le Sigh!
This post is long overdue! It's no secret that I'm a huuge Gary V fan so when I found out that he was having a concert at the Alabang Town Center, I immediately got tickets (free if you have the Ayala Discount Plus card). Jun and I were at the mall as early as 4:30pm (concert was starting at 6 and I wanted to get good seats). I was so thrilled to find Gary already on stage rehearsing. We were allowed to get our seats at 15 minutes to 6 pm, and we got seats at the 8th row from the stage.
As expected, the performance was flawless. I don't usually like going to concerts -- why pay good money to see them live (at itty bitty sizes) when you can listen to the CD? -- but I make an exception with Gary. I just love, love, love dancing to his old songs at his concerts. I've always liked Gary V's songs but from the first time I saw him live at a concert in UP, I've been hooked. Nothing brings out the groupie in me like he does. So Jun and I make it a point to watch his concerts as long as they're held in small, intimate venues. I remember that our first official date as a couple was the Gary V concert "By Request" at the Music Museum.
But the concert at ATC wasn't the best part. Afterwards, we were having dinner at Italiannis and guess who walked into the restaurant? Yep, their whole family also had dinner there. What a coincidence, huh??!!!!! *grin* It wasn't really a coincidence. He he. I just happened to notice that the restaurant was one of the sponsors so I was betting that that was where they were going after the concert. I bought some stationary and a pen and excitedly psyched myself to go up to him and ask for an autograph.
Under normal circumstances, celebrities really don't get me excited. I'm usually deadma if I see a famous person and couldn't care less about getting anybody's autograph except if it's for a friend or relative. I once asked for Larry Henares' autograph for my dad when I learned he was sitting right behind me in Italiannis Greenbelt. This time around, I really didn't want to intrude but it was a chance of a lifetime for me. So I walked up to their table and politely asked if I could have his autograph. Of course he said it was ok. We even chitchatted while he was writing -- I was thinking about getting our picture taken when i thought, what the heck, I'm here and he's here and Jun has his camera phone ready, so Go!!! Look and see!!! Woohoo!!!!
I swear, my hands were shaking from excitement and happiness! Some people (you know who you are, you evil creatures!) will probably laugh themselves crazy over this post, but I don't freaking care!!!! :D I don't think I will ever do this again for a local celebrity. For the life of me, I cannot think of another person in the local scene I admire as much as Gary. When I think about who else I'd like to have pictures of, I think of Oprah, Hugh Jackman, Brandon Routh (oh yes! -- preferably in his Superman costume), and, oh, probably all the hot guys who played in the World Cup. *wink, wink*
BTW, I learned from the horse's mouth that Gary has a series of concerts in August at the Music Museum. You bet your a*s I'm gonna be there!
Friday, June 16, 2006
Invasion of the Dinosaurs
Ever get the feeling that someone's watching you? My sister and I used to get that feeling when our bedroom was plastered floor to ceiling with Spandau Ballet and Duran Duran posters. So much so that we used to joke that maybe we shouldn't be getting dressed in the bedroom (as if!!). Fast forward to today -- I still feel like I'm being watched. And no, there are no posters of David Beckham and Hugh Jackman in our bedroom (I don't think my husband will approve). Instead, our bedroom is chockful of miniature dinosaurs. You name it, Joshua probably has it.
There are the little buggers. There's a whole range of them -- T-rexes of different sizes, an ultrasaurus (or a long neck to those who watch Land Before Time), stegosauruses, triceratops and even a large Godzilla thrown in.
Sometimes, when everyone's asleep and it's really dark (with a little thunder and lightning thrown in), I torture myself by thinking of really scary things. One of the scenarios is me and the kids surrounded by roaring miniature dinosaurs bent on revenge for all the times Joshua hurled them over the stairs or pretended to drown them in the bathtub. Yup, I've seen all those Chuckie movies -- and that's partly the reason why I think dolls are creepy.
Weird imaginations notwithstanding, I know we're stuck with the critters for the time being. Or until Joshua outgrows his fascination. In the meantime, I wonder where I can get a man-sized poster of David Beckham?? (Just kidding Jun!! You know you're the only one for me. He he)
There are the little buggers. There's a whole range of them -- T-rexes of different sizes, an ultrasaurus (or a long neck to those who watch Land Before Time), stegosauruses, triceratops and even a large Godzilla thrown in.Sometimes, when everyone's asleep and it's really dark (with a little thunder and lightning thrown in), I torture myself by thinking of really scary things. One of the scenarios is me and the kids surrounded by roaring miniature dinosaurs bent on revenge for all the times Joshua hurled them over the stairs or pretended to drown them in the bathtub. Yup, I've seen all those Chuckie movies -- and that's partly the reason why I think dolls are creepy.
Weird imaginations notwithstanding, I know we're stuck with the critters for the time being. Or until Joshua outgrows his fascination. In the meantime, I wonder where I can get a man-sized poster of David Beckham?? (Just kidding Jun!! You know you're the only one for me. He he)
T.G.I.F.
Ahhh...Friday. A day when all the pep talk and guilty thoughts about trying to be productive at work just fails miserably. It's times like these when my evil former carpoolmates and I would exchange bitchy nonsense over email and clog everybody's inbox.
We all hated it but those interminable car rides to and from Cavite that began at the crack of dawn were bearable only because of the company. The snarky comments about other people, the bitching about driving to Cavite, the Starbucks coffee stops and sweet corn merienda at Carmona and cheap shots directed at the SM and other Cavite malls are only some of the fond memories I have. And who can forget our two (was it only two?) attempts at playing badminton??!!
So I pestered Jong today to immediately send me the list of snarky things you'd love to say at work and other places (thanks Jong!!!! you've made my day!). You can imagine the field day we had the day I sent this. Whoever thought up these comments is a freaking genius or a totally evil person.
THINGS YOU'D LOVE TO SAY AT WORK AND OTHER PLACES
1. I can see your point but I still think you're full of shit.
2. I don't know what your problem is but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
3. How about never? Is never good for you?
4. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
5. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to see it my way.
6. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.
7. I'm out of my mind but feel free to leave a message.
8. I don't work here. I'm a consultant.
9. It sounds like English but I can't understand a word you're saying.
10. Ahhh, I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again.
11. I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.
12. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
13. I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't give a damn.
14. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
15. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
16. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
17. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.
18. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
19. What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?
20. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.
21. And your crybaby whiny-ass opinion would be?
22. Do I look like a people person?
23. This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.
24. I started out with nothing and still have most of it left.
25. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
26. If I throw a stick, will you leave?
27. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
28. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
29. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
30. A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.
31. Can I trade this job for what's behind door #1?
32. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
33. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?
34. Chaos, panic and disorder - my work here is done.
35. How do I set a laser printer to stun?
36. I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.
Have a good weekend people. Me, I'm going to find someone to be nasty to. Ciao!
We all hated it but those interminable car rides to and from Cavite that began at the crack of dawn were bearable only because of the company. The snarky comments about other people, the bitching about driving to Cavite, the Starbucks coffee stops and sweet corn merienda at Carmona and cheap shots directed at the SM and other Cavite malls are only some of the fond memories I have. And who can forget our two (was it only two?) attempts at playing badminton??!!
So I pestered Jong today to immediately send me the list of snarky things you'd love to say at work and other places (thanks Jong!!!! you've made my day!). You can imagine the field day we had the day I sent this. Whoever thought up these comments is a freaking genius or a totally evil person.
THINGS YOU'D LOVE TO SAY AT WORK AND OTHER PLACES
1. I can see your point but I still think you're full of shit.
2. I don't know what your problem is but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
3. How about never? Is never good for you?
4. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
5. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to see it my way.
6. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.
7. I'm out of my mind but feel free to leave a message.
8. I don't work here. I'm a consultant.
9. It sounds like English but I can't understand a word you're saying.
10. Ahhh, I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again.
11. I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.
12. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
13. I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't give a damn.
14. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
15. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
16. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
17. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.
18. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
19. What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?
20. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.
21. And your crybaby whiny-ass opinion would be?
22. Do I look like a people person?
23. This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.
24. I started out with nothing and still have most of it left.
25. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
26. If I throw a stick, will you leave?
27. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
28. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
29. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
30. A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.
31. Can I trade this job for what's behind door #1?
32. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
33. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?
34. Chaos, panic and disorder - my work here is done.
35. How do I set a laser printer to stun?
36. I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.
Have a good weekend people. Me, I'm going to find someone to be nasty to. Ciao!
Thursday, June 08, 2006
Halloween twins
Joshua and Faith dressed in the same Halloween costume which I kept after my mom bought it for Joshua in 2002. They could be mistaken for twins!
See, this is what happens when I get access to our old picture files. I go crazy.
Juicy Baby
Saw these pictures recently among Jun's files on the computer and I couldn't get over them. These pictures made me miss having a baby in the house. (Uh-oh, treading on dangerous ground here!) Ha ha ha!! I think Jun suddenly had a big lump in his throat when he heard me say that.
That's four month old Faith in the pictures, in case you were wondering.
Not Again!
I mentioned in the previous post that Faith was sick. We initially thought it was a bacterial infection and was treating the fever with antibiotics. Little did I know it was the dreaded Kawasaki disease.
Faith's fever was going on the seventh day despite the antibiotics, her lips were severely chapped and her eyes were turning red. A call to her pediatrician alerted me to the possibility of kawasaki so I hit the internet and checked. Sure enough, she had the symptoms. A friend's son had gone through the same disease so I knew it was serious. We brought Faith to the hospital the next day and after taking a look at Faith, she was admitted for kawasaki.
It's a scary disease and not much is known about it except for the symptoms and how it is treated. Research on the web says that it is an illness that involves the skin, mouth and lymph nodes and typically affects children who are under the age of 5. The cause is unknown but if the symptoms are recognized early, the child can fully recover within a few days. Left untreated, it can lead to serious complications such as vasculitis (inflammation of the blood vessels which affects the coronary arteries) and other complications. For details about the illness, you may google it (kawasaki disease) or visit http://kidshealth.org/parent/medical/heart/kawasaki.html.
The only way to treat it is to administer a mega dose of gamma globulin (purified antibodies) which is run through an IV for at least 12 straight hours. I count myself very lucky that Faith did not have a very bad case. She had the fever, red eyes, cracked lips but that was pretty much it. I know that some children suffer rashes and severe muscle pain and skin peeling and I am very grateful that Faith was spared that. In fact, our hospital stay was very short (3 days). The symptoms disappeared as soon as the gamma globulin was administered. When they finished, Faith was running around the room with me frantically trying to follow her with the IV tubes and all. Check out these pictures we took of Faith clowning around in our hospital room Friday afternoon before we knew we were being discharged that night.
Faith's fever was going on the seventh day despite the antibiotics, her lips were severely chapped and her eyes were turning red. A call to her pediatrician alerted me to the possibility of kawasaki so I hit the internet and checked. Sure enough, she had the symptoms. A friend's son had gone through the same disease so I knew it was serious. We brought Faith to the hospital the next day and after taking a look at Faith, she was admitted for kawasaki.
It's a scary disease and not much is known about it except for the symptoms and how it is treated. Research on the web says that it is an illness that involves the skin, mouth and lymph nodes and typically affects children who are under the age of 5. The cause is unknown but if the symptoms are recognized early, the child can fully recover within a few days. Left untreated, it can lead to serious complications such as vasculitis (inflammation of the blood vessels which affects the coronary arteries) and other complications. For details about the illness, you may google it (kawasaki disease) or visit http://kidshealth.org/parent/medical/heart/kawasaki.html.
The only way to treat it is to administer a mega dose of gamma globulin (purified antibodies) which is run through an IV for at least 12 straight hours. I count myself very lucky that Faith did not have a very bad case. She had the fever, red eyes, cracked lips but that was pretty much it. I know that some children suffer rashes and severe muscle pain and skin peeling and I am very grateful that Faith was spared that. In fact, our hospital stay was very short (3 days). The symptoms disappeared as soon as the gamma globulin was administered. When they finished, Faith was running around the room with me frantically trying to follow her with the IV tubes and all. Check out these pictures we took of Faith clowning around in our hospital room Friday afternoon before we knew we were being discharged that night.
With her hand still wrapped in a diaper due to the heplock.
Playing cute with the camera
Unlike her kuya, this one really knows how to frown
Thought this was really cute
You see how much of a ham she is? You wouldn't think she was just barely recovering from a serious illness or that we spent the last three nights barely sleeping at night. As corny as this sounds, it makes me think of rainbows after a long spell of rain. (ooooh, that made me wince!)
Tuesday, June 06, 2006
All grown up
We celebrated Joshua's 4th birthday yesterday. It was a quiet one with just the family at home since Faith is also sick. But he was delighted nonetheless. So, on the occasion of Joshua's birthday, here are some Josh facts:
1. He is OBSESSED with dinosaurs. Our bedroom floor is littered with dinosaur figures of all shapes and sizes. It's amazing how Joshua remembers what each is called. Can you believe he can tell the difference between an iguanadon and an ultrasaurus and the difference between a triceratops and a chasmosaurus. The way he says velociraptor (ve-WO-ci-Wap-tor) always cracks me up.
Note: As a result, Faith can roar like a dinosaur just like her kuya. She does a mean T-rex, complete with foot stomp.
2. Josh is the sweetest little boy. He'll tell you he loves you for no special reason and when you least expect it (he'll just blurt it out from out of the blue). He's also very affectionate and doesn't mind being hugged and kissed.
3. Expect to have the funniest (and sometimes absurd) conversations when he's in the toilet doing the number 2. My dad finds it so entertaining that he doesn't mind keeping Joshua company while he's in the can. (See blog entry Conversations with Poop)
4. He's starting to ask a LOT of questions. See sample below:
- Who killed Jesus?
- Why is the moon bright?
- What do worms eat?
- What's inside a pencil/lamp/light bulb/bones/etc.,etc.,etc.. These questions can really stump me sometimes so I do the smart thing and pass the question to his dad. Hello??!! He's the Physics graduate, not me!
5. Faith brings out the Green Eyed Monster in him. Otherwise, he's such a good (if a bit hyper) little boy.
6. I swear Joshua doesn't know how to frown. Ask him to frown and you'll see a mix of a grin and a grimace. He can do a sad face, a happy face but cannot do a convincing angry face.
7. He's got stubby toes that for some weird reason, have always fascinated me since he was a baby. I loved kissing his toes when he was a baby (and until now). He also can't sleep without getting his feet rubbed (by me, of course -- no one else is as in love with his toes as I am).
8. Loves Jollibee chicken (what kid doesn't???) and instant noodles.
9. Has the tendency to be O.C.. For instance, he's liable to have a tantrum if my hand isn't "hot" -- he hates it when he holds my hand and it's cold, especially when he uses it to go to sleep. Unfortunately, Faith also got this habit. My kids never needed a pacifier -- they just use my hands. Which I warm by placing them under my armpits, ahahahahahahaha!!! Just kidding!
10. He's got a super imagination. Is famous in school for his stories about the dinosaur in his garden. You should hear us tell the story of his birth. The moment we get to the part where he's supposed to come out of my tummy he'll exclaim, "And then the T-rex appeared!"
11. I sometimes wonder if he's an adult trapped in a four year old's body. He's been known to tell you that he was "worried about you" or "take care of yourself" and "don't forget to put your seatbelt on!" Has no compunction about engaging any grown up for conversation (when he feels like it, of course).
12. He once told me that when he grows up, he's going to marry me! Is that sweet or what??!!!
13. Has a love-hate relationship with Faith.
14. Knows the words to the story "Goodnight Moon".
15. He's terrified of fastfood mascots.
P.S. The picture in this post was taken October last year. It's a candid shot of Joshua watching cartoons while we were getting ready to go to church. I just really love this photo of him.
Monday, May 22, 2006
What Being a Mommy Taught Me
Some things being a mother to these two rugrats taught me:
1. Material things are just things. It is patently difficult to keep books, CDs, magazines, even handbags from prying little fingers intent on playing with your stuff. What were once treasured or carefully kept possessions before have absolutely no importance to me now. Except my shoes.
2. Some, actually, a lot of things can wait -- the bed can always be fixed later, that you can still find your clothes in a messy closet, a messy bathroom is still a bathroom -- but having the opportunity to dance the noodle dance with your kids should not be passed up.
3. I've learned that I was a more relaxed parent the second time around. We let Faith play/crawl on the floor without vacuuming first, and that a weird sounding sneeze is not a good enough reason to go visit the pediatrician.
4. A fever will always be a scary thing. And that having your children get sick will always make you feel helpless.
5. A little voice saying, "I Love You" will always make your heart catch in your throat. Even if they say it to avoid being yelled at or being given a time out.
6. No matter how much I want to get away from the kids when things start getting crazy, it only takes 5 minutes before I start missing them.
7. You will always put their needs first before your own. Which is not to say that you don't need a time out every now and then. There are times when you really need to pay attention to yourself.
8. The pediatrician is my best friend.
9. Grandparents make the best nannies. Too bad they can't do it full time.
10. Sometimes talking in a whisper will get toddlers in the midst of a screaming tantrum pay attention faster.
11. Guilt is your constant companion.
12. You won't always be patient -- but you always need to be kind.
13. That mom instinct? It really works.
14. Sesame Street's appeal never goes away. Not even if you're a grown up.
15. Your children are separate individuals, no matter how close they are in age. What works on one doesn't necessarily work on the other. Or maybe boys are just different from girls. Go figure.
16. You really do understand what your mom went through with you.
17. My heart doesn't belong to me anymore. It's been walking around outside my body since my children were born.
Thursday, May 18, 2006
Birthday Girl
She's two! She's two! Our beloved Pechay just turned two on the 15th. My baby girl is no longer a baby but a full fledged toddler with the matching temper (which her dad conveniently swears came from me, the nerve!).
I can wax poetic about her independence, how adorable she is, how juicy and yummy, how sweet and how bad her temper is. So here are some Faith facts:
1. She's a child magnet. For some reason, children are attracted to her. Which drives her older brother crazy. Really, you should see her in church. Kids (even toddlers) go up to her and try to touch her or hold her hand. And that's Joshua's cue to get her and drag her away. I can hardly wait for the time she wants to go to parties and flirt - I won't have to worry if her kuya Josh is there, he he.
2. NO MEANS NO. There is no such thing as wheedling with Faith. Doesn't work. With this baby, no means no. It means she doesn't want another spoonful of anything no matter what sound you make or how long the interval is. When she's done, she's done.
3. She is incapable of being distracted when she decides she wants something. She is so tenacious that 30 minutes after you think she's forgotten whatever thing you decided was too dangerous to give her, she'll try for it again. Take her from the room/toy/person and you'll have to endure a screaming fit complete with body contortions so make sure you've got a firm grip.
4. You can tell she's excited/happy about something when she pumps her fist into the air and yells, "woo, woo, woo!"
5. She loooooves white rice and shoves them by the spoonful into her mouth. She's also a chocoholic! Doesn't like ice cream.
6. Her favorite part of Sunday mass is the "peace be with you" part. She puckers up like a goldfish and kisses everyone...several times.
7. She's a water baby. Try to take her out of the pool and she'll scream bloody murder! She's just as happy in her plastic bathtub as she is in the pool. Just mention the word "bath" to her and she starts shedding her clothes.
8. Has a great belly laugh that manifests itself usually when her kuya Josh is trying to make her laugh.
9. She has a nasty habit of poking her fingers in your face...or pinching your face and then pressing her entire face on yours. I advise you to avoid this at all costs when she has a cold. Trust me.
10. Has a fondness for the word "utot" (pronounced oooo-toot). Everytime she does the deed, she'll announce it to the whole world...repeatedly.
11. She's not very good at pretending to be asleep. One time she tried to do this in the hospital when the nurse came in for her medication, her wiggling toes gave her away.
12. LITTLE DAREDEVIL. I can't count the number of times I almost had a heart attack because of her penchant for leaping off things. She has: leaped from sofas (back and arms), tables, slides, from the edge of a pool and has danced on top of a rickety plastic table.
13. She's a certified girly-girl. She likes pretty clothes and is fussy about what she wears -- to make her wear something she doesn't like you'll have to either tell her what she's wearing is yucky and icky or sedate her.
14. Never fails to run up to me everytime I come home from work. She'd ask me to carry her, put her hands on my face and say "Mommy!" with a sigh.
15. There's already a list of little boys whose parents have reserved her to be their promdate.
Thursday, March 09, 2006
E-Bay
Lately, I've discovered the wonders of ebay. Not that I didn't know what it was about. I registered two years ago but I was never really into it. Then I became part of a yahoo group discussing books and of course, eventually, it drove me crazy that I couldn't get a hold of the books being talked about. I know I could order them from Amazon and B&N but the sky high shipping rates were making me think twice.
So on a whim, I checked out ebay...and found nirvana. Thank goodness there are kind souls out there who are willing to part with their beloved books. I know I'm too selfish to do that. I've gotten a lot of books this way -- and developed good relationships with my sukis.
What a fast and efficient way to feed my addiction.
So on a whim, I checked out ebay...and found nirvana. Thank goodness there are kind souls out there who are willing to part with their beloved books. I know I'm too selfish to do that. I've gotten a lot of books this way -- and developed good relationships with my sukis.
What a fast and efficient way to feed my addiction.
Thursday, February 23, 2006
My Happy Ending
The other day I heard about a co-employee who lost a baby born prematurely at around 7 months. It really got to me -- I remember thinking about it for the rest of the day and mentioning it to Jun during the ride home that night. Needless to say, that conversation brought a flashback of the time Joshua was born. If I were to pick the lowest point, the period where I was most sad, that event would win hands down.
As far as first pregnancies went, mine was terrible. The first to second trimester was nothing remarkable but the onset of the third brought preeclampsia and all the bad things that go with it. It was my first pregnancy and, maybe it's just me but it was hard for me to think of the baby as a person already. I was very aware of what was happening to my body (looking into the mirror and seeing the gross swelling guaranteed that!) but I was clueless about what it all meant to the baby and how exactly it was going to affect it. My condition got so bad that I had to stay at the high risk pregnancy unit until I gave birth. At 35.5 weeks, Joshua was delivered by CS -- they tried to wait until at least the 37th week but his heartbeat was decelerating so they had no choice. Jun said the baby was small and thin when I asked, and that was it -- I was still too woozy from the drugs.
I don't remember anymore exactly how Joshua looked after his birth. I have vague images but now it's hard to connect the hardy, active little boy he is now with the tiny baby in the incubator. What remains vivid are the feelings and the thoughts that were running through my mind during those five long weeks. I remember feeling so sorry for him when I saw him in the warmer the second day. He looked like an old man -- all wrinkled skin and big head with puffed up eyes. And it frightened me to see him so skinny -- he weighed only 3.1 pounds at birth. I remember the dread we felt every time the neonatologist paid us an early morning visit in our room because it meant there was something wrong again with Joshua. And when I went home, I remember crying so hard in the car because I was leaving my baby behind. I hadn't even been able to buy any baby stuff before my hospital stay and there was nothing in the house to indicate that I just had a baby.
And so I settled down to a routine -- I would be at the hospital by 7am with my small container of snacks and milk, leave at 4pm and sink into a depressed stupor with bouts of crying and angry outbursts in between until bedtime. It was a wonder I didn't drive Jun crazy. I had very little breastmilk but I was determined to breastfeed because I wanted to be able to hold Joshua. I tried everything to increase my supply of milk but I was too tired and stressed from staying at the hospital all day and so depressed at night that it was a losing battle. I learned all the medical terms about premature babies, their conditions, and what could go wrong. I found out which nurses were more caring and which ones plain didn't give a hoot about the babies. Some people were telling me that I didn't have to go everyday -- that I should rest and that it would be ok but I refused to listen. Only Jun understood that the only thing that lifted my depression was being at the hospital with Josh. I remember not wanting to socialize, not wanting to be visited at the hospital, and not wanting to talk to people outside of my immediate family. I hated explaining what was wrong with my baby and nobody except Jun understood what I was going through. I was only happy when I had Joshua in my arms, even with the IV, the orogastric tube, breathing & heart rate alarms attached to him.
I remember feeling grateful for God's small miracles -- the time he almost had a full blood transfusion which the doctor cancelled at the last minute because his skin looked better. Everyday he gained a little weight was a miracle. It didn't take me long to realize how lucky Josh and I were -- most of the babies in the NICU were too sick to be held by their mommies. Some of them had complications like hydrocephalus -- there was too much water in the baby's brain that they had to surgically drain it every couple of days. Some of them were too tiny -- the baby boy next to Joshua's incubator was born at 24 weeks. His hands and feet were too tiny to support an IV needle so they inserted one in the jugular vein on his neck. Some of them had been there for more than three months, and one of them, a baby girl, got an infection and didn't survive. Only Joshua was old enough to breastfeed in that room -- I learned that the suck, swallow, breathe reflex is developed in babies at 32 weeks. Born earlier than that and the baby won't know how to breastfeed. I became friends with three other mothers who visited everyday. Sadly, we were the only ones who visited, the rest of the babies only had their doctors. We'd see each other in the morning and chat in between nursing sessions and discussions with doctors and nurses. We barely knew each other's names but within the confines of that NICU, we knew that we were the only ones who completely understood what each was going through. And we missed one of our friends when her baby girl died. Joshua was the first to leave the NICU but I learned that all of them eventually went home.
So I learned to live one miracle at a time. Eventually, my depression eased as Joshua continued to gain weight and graduated to the well baby room in the nursery. It was a relief to go home. I'd been sharing Joshua with the nurses and doctors so I was glad to finally have him all to myself. Now when I recall those days, it just seems like a bad dream. One that I forget every time I look at my little boy. And I'm glad that everytime I tell Joshua the story of his birth, it has a happy ending.
As far as first pregnancies went, mine was terrible. The first to second trimester was nothing remarkable but the onset of the third brought preeclampsia and all the bad things that go with it. It was my first pregnancy and, maybe it's just me but it was hard for me to think of the baby as a person already. I was very aware of what was happening to my body (looking into the mirror and seeing the gross swelling guaranteed that!) but I was clueless about what it all meant to the baby and how exactly it was going to affect it. My condition got so bad that I had to stay at the high risk pregnancy unit until I gave birth. At 35.5 weeks, Joshua was delivered by CS -- they tried to wait until at least the 37th week but his heartbeat was decelerating so they had no choice. Jun said the baby was small and thin when I asked, and that was it -- I was still too woozy from the drugs.
I don't remember anymore exactly how Joshua looked after his birth. I have vague images but now it's hard to connect the hardy, active little boy he is now with the tiny baby in the incubator. What remains vivid are the feelings and the thoughts that were running through my mind during those five long weeks. I remember feeling so sorry for him when I saw him in the warmer the second day. He looked like an old man -- all wrinkled skin and big head with puffed up eyes. And it frightened me to see him so skinny -- he weighed only 3.1 pounds at birth. I remember the dread we felt every time the neonatologist paid us an early morning visit in our room because it meant there was something wrong again with Joshua. And when I went home, I remember crying so hard in the car because I was leaving my baby behind. I hadn't even been able to buy any baby stuff before my hospital stay and there was nothing in the house to indicate that I just had a baby.
And so I settled down to a routine -- I would be at the hospital by 7am with my small container of snacks and milk, leave at 4pm and sink into a depressed stupor with bouts of crying and angry outbursts in between until bedtime. It was a wonder I didn't drive Jun crazy. I had very little breastmilk but I was determined to breastfeed because I wanted to be able to hold Joshua. I tried everything to increase my supply of milk but I was too tired and stressed from staying at the hospital all day and so depressed at night that it was a losing battle. I learned all the medical terms about premature babies, their conditions, and what could go wrong. I found out which nurses were more caring and which ones plain didn't give a hoot about the babies. Some people were telling me that I didn't have to go everyday -- that I should rest and that it would be ok but I refused to listen. Only Jun understood that the only thing that lifted my depression was being at the hospital with Josh. I remember not wanting to socialize, not wanting to be visited at the hospital, and not wanting to talk to people outside of my immediate family. I hated explaining what was wrong with my baby and nobody except Jun understood what I was going through. I was only happy when I had Joshua in my arms, even with the IV, the orogastric tube, breathing & heart rate alarms attached to him.
I remember feeling grateful for God's small miracles -- the time he almost had a full blood transfusion which the doctor cancelled at the last minute because his skin looked better. Everyday he gained a little weight was a miracle. It didn't take me long to realize how lucky Josh and I were -- most of the babies in the NICU were too sick to be held by their mommies. Some of them had complications like hydrocephalus -- there was too much water in the baby's brain that they had to surgically drain it every couple of days. Some of them were too tiny -- the baby boy next to Joshua's incubator was born at 24 weeks. His hands and feet were too tiny to support an IV needle so they inserted one in the jugular vein on his neck. Some of them had been there for more than three months, and one of them, a baby girl, got an infection and didn't survive. Only Joshua was old enough to breastfeed in that room -- I learned that the suck, swallow, breathe reflex is developed in babies at 32 weeks. Born earlier than that and the baby won't know how to breastfeed. I became friends with three other mothers who visited everyday. Sadly, we were the only ones who visited, the rest of the babies only had their doctors. We'd see each other in the morning and chat in between nursing sessions and discussions with doctors and nurses. We barely knew each other's names but within the confines of that NICU, we knew that we were the only ones who completely understood what each was going through. And we missed one of our friends when her baby girl died. Joshua was the first to leave the NICU but I learned that all of them eventually went home.
So I learned to live one miracle at a time. Eventually, my depression eased as Joshua continued to gain weight and graduated to the well baby room in the nursery. It was a relief to go home. I'd been sharing Joshua with the nurses and doctors so I was glad to finally have him all to myself. Now when I recall those days, it just seems like a bad dream. One that I forget every time I look at my little boy. And I'm glad that everytime I tell Joshua the story of his birth, it has a happy ending.
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